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With increasing population and even growing urban centers, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protect places of natural beauty? How can this be solved? v.2

With increasing population and even growing urban centers, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protect places of natural beauty? How can this be solved? v. 2
There is an issue about the occupation of natural lands for accommodating the needs in housing. However, some environmentalists suggest preserving natural wonders. In this essay, I will discuss the pros from this protection and suggest possible solutions reach it. Let us start with the advantageous sides of preserving wild territories. The first advantage is that people will enjoy natural beauty. People often go to the countryside to relax at weekends, but the usage of these picturesque areas under construction would deprive them this change for relaxation. Another positive side is that the country will have more tourists destinations. The economy will benefit from the tourist industry, if the authorities leave wildlife untouched, since the growing number of foreigners is willing to visit other countries with abundant both flora and fauna. Furthermore, the current generation will pass rich natural heritage to the next one. Children will also have the opportunity to see the wildlife in real rather than to watch it sealed in the parks. However, to achieve these beneficial effects, people should take the following measures. Firstly, developers should construct more high-rise buildings. To minimize the exploitation of green areas, people ought to design blocks of apartments for many households instead of one-storey houses for individual families. Secondly, authorities should introduce laws against the development of national parks. Law makers should restrict regulations on the usage of land for construction, so that illegal builders would be unable to log forests as well as dry valuable water deposits. Moreover, developers should also start to use only deserted lands. The government should force construction companies to exploit unwanted areas of land first, so that nature would remain unspoilt longer. In conclusion, human beings will enjoy many advantages, if society adopts the above mentioned measures and, therefore, stop the growth of cities at the expense of wildlife.
There is an issue about the occupation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lands
for accommodating the needs in housing.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
environmentalists suggest preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
wonders. In this essay, I will discuss the pros from this protection and suggest possible solutions reach it.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with the advantageous sides of preserving wild territories. The
first
advantage is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
beauty.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go to the countryside to relax at weekends,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the usage of these picturesque areas under construction would deprive them this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
for relaxation. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side is that the country will have more tourists destinations. The economy will benefit from the tourist industry, if the authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
wildlife untouched, since the growing number of foreigners is willing to visit other countries with abundant both flora and fauna.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation will pass rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
heritage to the
next
one. Children will
also
have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the wildlife in real
rather
than to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
it sealed in the parks.

However
, to achieve these beneficial effects,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take the following measures.
Firstly
, developers should construct more high-rise buildings. To minimize the exploitation of green areas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ought to design blocks of apartments for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
households
instead
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
one-storey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
for individual families.
Secondly
, authorities should introduce laws against the development of national parks. Law makers should restrict regulations on the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
for construction,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that illegal builders would be unable to log forests
as well
as dry valuable water deposits.
Moreover
, developers should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
deserted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lands
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should force construction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to exploit unwanted areas of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
first
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that nature would remain
Possible spelling mistake found.
unspoilt
longer.

In conclusion
, human beings will enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages, if society adopts the above mentioned measures and,
therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the growth of cities at the expense of wildlife.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay With increasing population and even growing urban centers, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protect places of natural beauty? How can this be solved? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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