Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

PO-46 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. Use specific reasons and exam v.2

PO-46 - Independent Writing Task The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. Use specific reasons and exam v. 2
Without a shadow of the doubt celebrities play a vital role in society. Their opinions, their behavior and their actions can lead to both bad and good situations in community. Many people contend that the opinions of celebrities are more important to young people, while others asserts their opinions are more important to older people. Both of the opposing arguments appear to be somewhat convincing and stand to point. However, my personal experience and actual observation of life have led me to agree that their opinions are more important to younger people. In the ensuing lines, I delve into my reasons to substantiate my point. The first and possibly the paramount reason is that celebrities such as singers, actors and athletes most of the time are in the same age of the younger people. So, celebrities and young people have a lot of things in common. Their inerests in following a certain fashion, eating in certain restaurants, wearing some new-brand clothes and other things are many of these comon things. Also, celebrities have many fans and their beliefs, interest and opinions are important to their fans. Furthermore, their fans are young people rather than older people. As aresult, their opinions are very important to their fans. If they have a certain idea about an event their follower will have the same idea. Another point springing to mind is that older people are more wise compared to young people. So, they prefer to think about different things and obtain information from valid resources like books instead of accepting the celebrities idea. In contrast, young people do not have enough experience and they like to imitate behavior and opinion of celebrities. In addition of lacking experience, having access to celebrities is another factor that is a key factor in this matter. Most of the famous celebrities have Instagram page and they answer to their followers' questions. In this way, people can see their answers and they can have the same attitude. For example, in my country, Iran, Golzar is a very famous actor and people die because of him. People and especially young girls are crazy about him. They always ask their questions about different thing from him in his page in the social media and if he approves something his followers will have the same idea. As a result, celebrities opinios can be very influential in young people' s ideas. To sum it all up, it is easy to see why younger people tend to accept the ideas of celebrities. They are lack of experience, they are at the same age of the celbrities and their access to celberities are causes taht celebrities opinions are more important to younger people. I hope somaday, people can follow the opinions that benefit them. Accepting good opinions not only assists people to have convenient life but also creats a good opportunity to widen their horizon. The more people understand, the less they know. In this way, they can be successful and also happy in their lives.
Without a shadow of the doubt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
play a vital role in society. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
, their behavior and their actions can lead to both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
situations in community.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contend that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, while others asserts their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Both of the opposing arguments appear to be somewhat convincing and stand to point.
However
, my personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and actual observation of life have led me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In the ensuing lines, I delve into my reasons to substantiate my point.

The
first
and
possibly
the paramount reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
such as singers, actors and athletes most of the time are in the same age of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things in common. Their
Possible spelling mistake found.
inerests
in following a certain fashion, eating in certain restaurants, wearing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new-brand clothes and other things are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these
Possible spelling mistake found.
comon
things.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fans and their beliefs, interest and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to their fans.
Furthermore
, their fans are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rather
than older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As
Possible spelling mistake found.
aresult
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to their fans.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
they have a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
about an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
their follower will have the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

Another point springing to mind is that older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more wise compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things and obtain information from valid resources like books
instead
of accepting the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "celebrities'" or "celebrity's"?
celebrities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
experience and
they like to imitate behavior and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
of lacking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, having access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
is another factor
that is
a key factor in this matter. Most of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
have Instagram
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
page and
they answer to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
followers&
#039; questions. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
answers and
they can have the same attitude.
For example
, in my country, Iran,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Golzar
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
actor and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of him.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
and
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
girls are crazy about him. They always ask their questions about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
thing from him in his page in the social media and if he approves something his followers will have the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
Possible spelling mistake found.
opinios
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
influential in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

To sum it all up, it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to accept the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
. They are lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, they are at the same age of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
celbrities
and their access to
Possible spelling mistake found.
celberities
are causes
Possible spelling mistake found.
taht
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I hope
Possible spelling mistake found.
somaday
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
that benefit them. Accepting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
assists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have convenient life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
creats
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity to widen their horizon. The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand, the less they know. In this way, they can be successful and
also
happy in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
67Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Mistakes

IELTS essay PO-46 - Independent Writing Task The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. Use specific reasons and exam v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
502 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts