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With increasing populations and ever growing urban centres, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What are benefits of protecting places for natural beauty spots? How can it be solved? v.1

With increasing populations and ever growing urban centres, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What are benefits of protecting places for natural beauty spots? How can it be solved? v. 1
The world has undergone a large number of transformations. According to these changes, human beings have to learn some skills which have not been that much vital in the past. Hence, the mission of schools should not be confined to just literacy and numeracy. In doing so, teaching students some skills to survive in financial aspects of their lives is quite crucial. In my opinion, in most of today’s job requirements, the necessity of being well-informed about financial aspects of work is felt completely. So, learning these materials and knowledge could result in being qualified for more decent jobs with higher wages and benefits. For example, if an accountant knows the financial vision and goals of his company in depth, his outcome will be more effective and this can lead to longer contract and more profits for him. However, in some countries, for example Germany, a community subject is available in which politics and finances are discussed. This leaves students from Germany in a better situation to deal with finances in their lives. In addition, in this growing world with lots of complexities, learning economic and financial aspects of issues can result in improving problem solving abilities which empower people to encounter difficulties and boost the financial security in their lives. In other word, more advanced the world becomes, more sophistications people will face. All these complexities have economic aspects and all people need the related knowledge to tackle these kinds of problems and schools are one of the best place to teach them to people. To sum up, there are clear benefits of including techniques and knowledge to face financial issues in the student’s curriculum.
The world has undergone
a large number of
transformations. According to these
changes
, human beings
have to
learn
some
skills
which have not been that much vital in the past.
Hence
, the mission of schools should not
be confined
to
just
literacy and numeracy. In doing
so
, teaching students
some
skills
to survive in
financial
aspects
of their
lives
is quite crucial.

In my opinion, in most of
today
’s job requirements, the necessity of being well-informed about
financial
aspects
of work
is felt
completely.
So
, learning these materials and knowledge could result in
being qualified
for more decent jobs with higher wages and benefits.
For example
, if an accountant knows the
financial
vision and goals of his
company
in depth, his outcome will be more effective and this can lead to longer contract and more profits for him.
However
, in
some
countries,
for example
Germany, a community subject is available in which politics and finances
are discussed
. This
leaves
students from Germany in a better situation to deal with finances in their
lives
.

In addition
, in this growing world with lots of complexities, learning economic and
financial
aspects
of issues can result in improving problem solving abilities which empower
people
to encounter difficulties and boost the
financial
security in their
lives
. In other word, more advanced the world becomes, more
sophistications
people
will face. All these complexities have economic
aspects
and all
people
need the related knowledge to tackle these kinds of problems and schools are one of the best place to teach them to
people
.

To sum up, there are
clear
benefits of including techniques and knowledge to face
financial
issues in the student’s curriculum.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay With increasing populations and ever growing urban centres, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What are benefits of protecting places for natural beauty spots? How can it be solved? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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