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With easier access to the internet many students are turning to online sources to study instead of the library. State some of the problems caused by this and methods to address them. v.1

With easier access to the internet many students are turning to online sources to study instead of the library. State some of the problems caused by this and methods to address them. v. 1
Due to the advancement of technology, the majority of students switch to online studies rather than going to the library. This is because online learning seems to be more convenient. The main problem with this is that students can easily be distracted due to inadequate environment. However, a possible way to overcome this difficulty is libraries should be modernized. One obvious problem which arises from an online study is an easy distraction. To elucidate, students need an environment with peace and serenity to concentrate well on studies, undoubtedly, libraries provide such ambience. However, students who prefer online learning do not get such an atmosphere, so their concentration can distract effortlessly, resulting in low grades in the exam. For example, a recent report by the BBC News in April 2019 revealed that 25% of students who opt for online study instead of the library were not able to excel in studies and tend to be wasted a year or two by repeating the same class. One plausible way to solve this menace is the modernization of the library. To elaborate, libraries ought to provide computers, which incorporate websites with the relevant information and with a minimum subscription that are the fundamental requirements of students. If this condition is fulfilled by the libraries, it is evident children will come into the library to study rather than doing an online study at home. For example, in Canada, 40% of libraries have been modernized with the latest computers consisting of relevant information, resulting in excel in their studies. In conclusion, online study often enables children to get distracted easily. Only when libraries turn out to be fully modernized, will the problem be solved.
Due to the advancement of technology, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
switch to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
rather
than going to the library. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
learning seems to be more convenient. The main problem with this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
easily
be distracted
due to inadequate environment.
However
, a possible way to overcome this difficulty is libraries should
be modernized
.

One obvious problem which arises from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is an easy distraction. To elucidate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need an environment with peace and serenity to concentrate well on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
,
undoubtedly
, libraries provide such ambience.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
learning
This verb is used with the infinitive: "to do"
do
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
such an atmosphere,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their concentration can distract
effortlessly
, resulting in low grades in the exam.
For example
, a recent report by the BBC News in April 2019 revealed that 25% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
instead
of the library were not able to excel in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and tend to
be wasted
a year or two by repeating the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

One plausible way to solve this menace is the modernization of the library. To elaborate, libraries ought to provide computers, which incorporate websites with the relevant information and with a minimum subscription that are the fundamental requirements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. If this condition
is fulfilled
by the libraries, it is evident children will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into the library to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
rather
than doing an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at home.
For example
, in Canada, 40% of libraries have
been modernized
with the latest computers consisting of relevant information, resulting
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in excel in
their studies.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
enables children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted
easily
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
when libraries turn out to be
fully
modernized, will the problem
be solved
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay With easier access to the internet many students are turning to online sources to study instead of the library. State some of the problems caused by this and methods to address them. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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