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16. When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

16. When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. v. 2
As the site of burgeoning new residential areas is becoming more and more common, there is inherently emerging a host of dilemmas, the most thorny of which is town planning. Therefore, the authority is still considering whether the construction of public parks and sports facilities, or shopping centres should be given the priority. Personally, I am of the view that the former should be prioritized over the latter. There is no denying that the development of public parks and sporting facilities to bring about immense benefits for the well-being of the community. First, as sporting facilities are erected, health-consciousness is likely to be cultivated among community members. A case in point is the Sports Center in my hometown that dispenses a decent number of classes with quality instruction. This, in turn, incentivizes local residents to actively engage in physical activities, which has substantially benefited their health. Furthermore, thanks to their closeness to nature, parks are the go-to destinations for those seeking natural therapy in that visitors can admire the beauty of the flora and fauna. Public parks are also known as ideal meeting spots. Some parks, even have designated areas for such social gatherings as outdoor barbecues, which further facilitates positive social dynamics. While shopping centres are of certain use to town dwellers, it is important not to disregard their negative implications. On the one hand, an immediate benefit of shopping would be that customers can have their needs immediately accommodated simply by visiting the nearest shopping mall. However, this is largely overshadowed by possible risks of escalating consumerism and its dire consequences on the environment. More often than not, customers could easily indulge themselves in impulsive behaviours since products are orchestrated in eye-catching ways. This subliminal manipulation is the main culprit behind a consumerist society with uncontrollable consumption rates and immense waste output. As a result, the inclusion of shopping centres in town planning could exert negative impacts on our planet. In conclusion, it stands to reason that the town planners should place more emphasis on the development of public parks and sporting services, rather than shopping centres.
As the site of burgeoning new residential areas is becoming more and more common, there is
inherently
emerging a host of dilemmas, the most thorny of which is
town
planning.
Therefore
, the authority is
still
considering whether the construction of
public
parks
and sports facilities, or
shopping
centres
should be
given
the priority.
Personally
, I am of the view that the former should
be prioritized
over the latter.

There is no denying that the development of
public
parks
and sporting facilities to bring about immense benefits for the well-being of the community.
First
, as sporting facilities
are erected
, health-consciousness is likely to
be cultivated
among community members. A case in point is the Sports Center in my hometown that dispenses a decent number of classes with quality instruction. This, in turn, incentivizes local residents to
actively
engage in physical activities, which has
substantially
benefited their health.
Furthermore
, thanks to their closeness to nature,
parks
are the go-to destinations for those seeking natural therapy in that visitors can admire the beauty of the flora and fauna.
Public
parks
are
also
known as ideal meeting spots.
Some
parks
, even have designated areas for such social gatherings as outdoor barbecues, which
further
facilitates
positive
social dynamics.

While
shopping
centres
are of certain
use
to
town
dwellers, it is
important
not to disregard their
negative
implications. On the one hand, an immediate benefit of
shopping
would be that customers can have their needs immediately accommodated
simply
by visiting the nearest
shopping
mall.
However
, this is
largely
overshadowed by possible
risks
of escalating consumerism and its dire consequences on the environment. More
often
than not, customers could
easily
indulge themselves in impulsive
behaviours
since products
are orchestrated
in eye-catching ways. This subliminal manipulation is the main culprit behind a consumerist society with uncontrollable consumption rates and immense waste output.
As a result
, the inclusion of
shopping
centres
in
town
planning could exert
negative
impacts on our planet.

In conclusion
, it stands to reason that the
town
planners should place more emphasis on the development of
public
parks
and sporting services,
rather
than
shopping
centres
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 16. When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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