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With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. Do you disagree? v.1

With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. Do you disagree? v. 1
Now a days teenagers are at greater risk due to unlimited access they have to the world wide web as some kind of content and activities involved in it is not advisable to be viewed. I agree that the wisest thing to do by parents is to provide their children with limited access to public networks to prevent any unwanted situations which might arise unwittingly. Firstly, These days technology is an integral part of human life however it has both positive side as well as a negative side too. At present we are witnessing that most of the teenagers getting used to the internet beyond the limits and they are being addicted to it by spending more time on online activities like playing computer games etc. Which can create a dangerous situation that, they fail to differentiate between the real world and virtual world. For example There are some instances where it has been observed teenagers watching stunt videos in online and they try to imitate exactly in real life which could lead to a difficult situation. Secondly, Childrens should be cautious when they are accessing social media platforms like twitter, Facebook, Instagram its because it's easy to create a fake account and impersonate. Moreover, this would impact ones social life too. It is evident that, people who kill more time on chat applications, will not be having a tendency to interact with people. This affects the physical and mental development of the children. To build a good social life, it is advisable to go out and interact with people rather sitting and talking to strangers using online applications. For Example Parents should use parental control applications to track their children's online activities and encourage them to use educational applications like Bijus’ which is a popular learning application among schools and colleges. Apart from this child should participate in extra curricular activities which will keep them fit and healthy. In conclusion, parents should take necessary steps and guide their children to set boundaries for themselves when it comes to the usage of the internet to avoid encountering unnecessary issues and for their better future.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are at greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
due to unlimited access they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world wide web
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of content and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
involved in it is not advisable to
be viewed
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the wisest thing to do by parents is to provide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with limited access to public networks to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
any unwanted situations which might arise
unwittingly
.

Firstly
, These
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
technology is an integral part of human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
however
it has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side too. At
The comma is probably missing here: "present, we".
present we
are witnessing that most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the internet beyond the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
limits and
they are
being addicted
to it by spending more time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like playing computer games etc. Which can create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situation that, they fail to differentiate between the real world and virtual world.
For example
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
instances where it has
been observed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
watching stunt videos in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
online and
they try to imitate exactly in real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which could lead to a difficult situation.

Secondly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Childrens
should be cautious when they are accessing social media platforms like twitter, Facebook, Instagram
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it's easy to create a fake account and impersonate.
Moreover
, this would impact ones social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
too. It is evident that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who kill more time on chat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
, will not be having a tendency to interact with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This affects the physical and mental development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. To build a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it is advisable to go out and interact with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rather
sitting and talking to strangers using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
.
For Example
Parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
parental control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
their children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and encourage them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bijus
’ which is a popular learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
application
among schools and colleges. Apart from this child should participate in
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them fit and healthy.

In conclusion
, parents should take necessary steps and guide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to set boundaries for themselves when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the usage of the internet to avoid encountering unnecessary issues and for their better future.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. Do you disagree? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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