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Social media is becoming increasingly popular among st all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

Social media is becoming increasingly popular among st all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
There is no denying the fact that technological development has had a negative impact on the planet. Everything from the air we breathe to the food we eat is contaminated these days due to the use and abuse of various inventions of technology. For example, motor vehicles pollute the air. Pesticides contaminate the food we eat. Some people believe that the only way to reverse environmental damage caused by technology is to adopt a simple lifestyle. Others insist that technology can undo the damage caused by it. I agree with this view. To start with, the argument that we all should now live a simpler life devoid of technology is impractical. We are so habituated to having technology in our life that it is now impossible to imagine a world without light bulbs, fans, refrigerators or computers. So, even if technology is causing considerable environmental damage it is impossible to convince people that they should stop using it. A better solution is to invest in greener technologies that can mitigate much of the environmental damage already done. Scientists have already started working on them. For example, many trains now run on electricity. They cause much less pollution than diesel engines. Electric cars are another promising technology. It is safe to assume that in 10 or 15 years, they will completely replace cars running on fossil fuels. Likewise, greener energy sources like wind and solar may soon replace conventional energy sources like coal. To conclude, while it is true that technology caused a great deal of damage to the environment, it is also quite capable of finding solutions to the problems it caused. As technology continues to develop, I am sure it will become cleaner and greener. Thus the argument that adopting a simple life is the only way to mitigate environmental damage does not hold much water.
There is no denying the fact that technological development has had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the planet. Everything from the air we breathe to the food we eat
is contaminated
these days due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and abuse of various inventions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
For example
, motor vehicles pollute the air. Pesticides contaminate the food we eat.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to reverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caused
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is to adopt a simple lifestyle. Others insist that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can undo the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caused
by it. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, the argument that we all should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a simpler life devoid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is impractical. We are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
habituated to having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in our life that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
impossible to imagine a world without light bulbs, fans, refrigerators or computers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, even if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is causing considerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
it is impossible to convince
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
using it.

A better solution is to invest in greener
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
that can mitigate much of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
already done. Scientists have already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
working on them.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
trains
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
run on electricity. They cause much less pollution than diesel engines. Electric cars are another promising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. It is safe to assume that in 10 or 15 years, they will completely replace cars running on fossil fuels.
Likewise
, greener energy sources like wind and solar may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
replace conventional energy sources like coal.

To conclude
, while it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caused
a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
to the environment, it is
also
quite capable of finding solutions to the problems it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caused
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
continues to develop, I am sure it will become cleaner and greener.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the argument that adopting a simple life is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to mitigate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
does not hold much water.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Social media is becoming increasingly popular among st all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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