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With a fast pace of modern life, more and more people are turning towards fast food for theirs main meals. Do you hinh the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

With a fast pace of modern life, more and more people are turning towards fast food for theirs main meals. Do you hinh the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
These days, fast food is very favoured, so their services are also developed. Especially, we are living in a modern life with the fast development rate, people are turning to fast food for their meal, and there are those who agree that the advantages of these outweigh the disadvantages. Firstly, let us take a look at the advantages. We can't contradict that fast food can save a lot of time; furthermore, taste food is favoured by many young people. And as the name, it really prepares and delivery service quickly, the consumers can also avoid the problem of cooking at home (such as: they need to go the shop and buy the ingredients, spend a lot of time cooking some meals. . . ) Besides, fast food is also helpful to us in emergencies. Nevertheless, fast food has big drawbacks. Especially the problems of health and blood pressure, because fast food is full of oil, sugar, salt and unhealthy ingredients, . . . Another point worth noting is the consumers use, fast food regularly. For examples, according to information from the Bureau of Labour statistics, about 45% of a family's food budget goes toward eating out somewhere. In 1977, the rate was at just 30%. Most fast food meals contain high levels of added sugar and salt. Not only does it mean that you'll consume extra calories with your meal, but it also mean you're eating contain less nutrition, you will have weigh problems if you eat them too much. And, for children, fast food is even worse for their's health because they are still growing stage. In conclusion, we should weighing up both sides of the argument: the advantage and disadvantage. Fast food can be surely spare the consumers time, yet the fast food can lead to issues with health problems: obesity, blood pressure. Since, it is important to educate people spend their's main meals for home cooked meals. Do this - you can have a healthier life.
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their services are
also
developed.
Especially
, we are living in a modern life with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
development rate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are turning to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
, and there are those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the advantages of these outweigh the disadvantages.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us take a look at the advantages. We can't contradict that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time;
furthermore
, taste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. And as the name, it
really
prepares and delivery service
quickly
, the consumers can
also
avoid the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of cooking at home (such as: they need to go the shop and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the ingredients, spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time cooking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Loose punctuation mark.
)
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
also
helpful to us in emergencies.

Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
drawbacks.
Especially
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of health and blood pressure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is full of oil, sugar, salt and unhealthy ingredients
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Another point worth noting is the consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
regularly
. For examples, according to information from the Bureau of
Possible spelling mistake. 'Labour' is British English.
Labour
statistics, about 45% of a family's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
budget goes toward eating out somewhere. In 1977, the rate was at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
30%. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
contain high levels of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar and salt. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it mean that you'll consume extra calories with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
Did you mean "means"?
mean
you're eating contain less nutrition, you will have weigh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
if you eat them too much. And, for children,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is even worse for
Did you mean "their" or "theirs"?
their's
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
still
growing stage.

In conclusion
, we should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "weigh"
weighing
up both sides of the argument: the advantage and disadvantage.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can be
surely
spare the consumers time,
yet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can lead to issues with health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
: obesity, blood pressure. Since, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to educate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend
Did you mean "their" or "theirs"?
their's
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
for home cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
. Do this
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
you can have a healthier life.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay With a fast pace of modern life, more and more people are turning towards fast food for theirs main meals. Do you hinh the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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