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With a fast pace of modern life more and more people are dependent on fast foods as their main meals. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

With a fast pace of modern life more and more people are dependent on fast foods as their main meals. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
In recent years, life has been pretty hectic, resulting in many people living in modernized societies have eaten fast foods as their main meals. Personally, I would argue that this trend has more drawbacks than benefits. On the one hand, in modernized societies fast food restaurants are very trendy. As they are found in any streets easily and also have reasonable prices, people tend to buy snacks instead of spending time on cooking foods. Moreover, nowadays, every family members spend the majority of their time outside and they come back home at late night, therefore, they do not have enough time to cook. For instance, buying a meal from a fast food establishment takes less than hour, whereas, cooking a food meal at home needs more than an hour. On the other hand, although fast food meals taste delicious, they are high in carbohydrate, fat, and calories. In modern countries like the USA, the vast number of individuals suffer from obesity. Because this nation is very popular for various cuisine chains, thereby, the Americans orders their main meals at fast restaurants rather than cooking at home, which results in gaining weight. Moreover, Fast foods can also change our lifestyle. For example, as these kinds of meals will be ready in a least time leading people to being less patient. If this lifestyle remains trendy, people may not improve their cooking skill and lose this delightful experience in their life. To conclude, although fast food meals make life easier for people in these hectic days, I believe that the disadvantage of these meals outweighs their benefits.
In recent years, life has been pretty hectic, resulting in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in modernized societies have eaten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
as their main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
.
Personally
, I would argue that this trend has more drawbacks than benefits.

On the one hand, in modernized societies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurants are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
trendy. As they
are found
in any streets
easily
and
also
have reasonable prices,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
snacks
instead
of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on cooking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
Moreover
, nowadays, every family members spend the majority of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
outside and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back home at late night,
therefore
, they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to cook.
For instance
, buying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
establishment takes less than hour, whereas, cooking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
at home needs more than an hour.

On the other hand
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
taste delicious, they are high in carbohydrate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, and calories. In modern countries like the USA, the vast number of individuals suffer from obesity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
this nation is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular for various cuisine chains, thereby, the Americans orders their main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
restaurants
rather
than cooking at home, which results in gaining weight.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our lifestyle.
For example
, as these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
will be ready in
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to being less patient. If this lifestyle remains trendy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their cooking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and lose this delightful experience in their life.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in these hectic days, I believe that the disadvantage of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
outweighs their benefits.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay With a fast pace of modern life more and more people are dependent on fast foods as their main meals. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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