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With a fast pace of modern life more and more people are dependent on fast foods as their main meals. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

With a fast pace of modern life more and more people are dependent on fast foods as their main meals. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
The world gets modernized day by day, people start shifting to ready-made foods from traditional foods to cope with contemporary lifestyles. Consumption of junk foods has both pros and cons, which I shall discuss in this essay, however, I personally believe that the drawbacks of such practices outstrip the benefits. To begin with, having fast foods can be both time saving and entertaining. People hardly get time to prepare their meals due to their hectic schedule. Also cooking at home is time consuming and diligent task. After a long day's hard work, it is convenient to rely on prepackaged foods rather than cooking. For instance, some of my friends prefer restaurant meals, as they are busy with their professional jobs and barely get time to cook food for themselves. Moreover, people can enjoy different cuisines and palates, which gives them a different experience from their regular monotonous and boring items. On the other hand, there are several negative effects on people's health. Firstly, processed food contains high calories, fats and carbohydrates, which leads to obesity in individuals. Secondly, they are more expensive, as a result, it could increase our daily living costs. Lastly, these foodstuffs consist of preservatives and other chemicals. For example, a recent survey in India shows that 40% of restaurants meals has chemicals that cause cancer, diabetes and heart diseases. Therefore, intake of convenience foods is detrimental to human health. In conclusion, I reiterate that relaying on fast foods has more demerits than merits, as they have high calories and other chemicals that are malicious to mankind. Hence, it is necessary to limit the uptake of such eatables in day-to-day life.
The world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
modernized day by day,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
shifting to ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
from traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
to cope with contemporary lifestyles. Consumption of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
has both pros and cons, which I shall discuss in this essay,
however
, I
personally
believe that the drawbacks of such practices outstrip the benefits.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
can be both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saving and entertaining.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to prepare their meals due to their hectic schedule.
Also
cooking at home is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
and diligent task. After a long day's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work, it is convenient to rely on prepackaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
rather
than cooking.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my friends prefer restaurant meals, as they are busy with their professional jobs and
barely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to cook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for themselves.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cuisines and palates, which gives them a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
experience from their regular monotonous and boring items.

On the other hand
, there are several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health.
Firstly
, processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
contains high calories, fats and carbohydrates, which leads to obesity in individuals.
Secondly
, they are more expensive,
as a result
, it could increase our daily living costs.
Lastly
, these foodstuffs consist of preservatives and other chemicals.
For example
, a recent survey in India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 40% of restaurants meals has chemicals that cause cancer, diabetes and heart diseases.
Therefore
, intake of convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
is detrimental to human health.

In conclusion
, I reiterate that relaying on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
has more demerits than merits, as they have high calories and other chemicals that are malicious to mankind.
Hence
, it is necessary to limit the uptake of such eatables in day-to-day life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay With a fast pace of modern life more and more people are dependent on fast foods as their main meals. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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