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Whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little can be done to rectify this. v.2

Whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little can be done to rectify this. v. 2
It is not incorrect to say, that media controlling moguls, also control the moods of the people. Today, everyone is aware, regarding the situation in the news companies. It is quite devastating, that we cannot rely on the news anymore and there is not much, that we can do to undo this challenge. We will discuss this topic further below. Firstly, we need to understand the core of the problem. We all know, that businesses are run because of profits, and news providers are not untouched from this issue. All huge news firms are segregated and run news, aiming their favourites. This is a large problematic situation. For instance, everybody knows that the zee news will show only those news, which are favourable to BJP. Next, these problems are not going to resolve itself. For restricting these companies, all of the governments should make certain laws. We need to limit this issues by making stringent legal ways. Afterwards, we can eradicate such problems from the society. For example, if the government states that, punitive action will be taken against such people or organisation, who will try to misguide the public, then the control can diminish. To conclude, it is very necessary to take certain actions, to stop such huge media houses from ruining the lives of the miserable. Furthermore, when we actually agree, that their is an issue, only then we can take steps towards the elimination. It is time, that we should not pay heed to these criminals. We should trust each other, and that is our only hope.
It is not incorrect to say, that media controlling moguls,
also
control the moods of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, everyone is aware, regarding the situation in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. It is quite devastating, that we cannot rely on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
anymore and there is not much, that we can do to undo this challenge. We will discuss this topic
further
below.

Firstly
, we need to understand the core of the problem. We all know, that businesses
are run
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of profits, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
providers are not untouched from this issue. All huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
firms
are segregated
and run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, aiming their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourites' is British English.
favourites
. This is a large problematic situation.
For instance
, everybody knows that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
zee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, which are
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
to BJP.

Next
, these problems are not going to resolve itself. For restricting these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
certain laws. We need to limit this issues by making stringent legal ways. Afterwards, we can eradicate such problems from the society.
For example
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
states that, punitive action will
be taken
against such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, who will try to misguide the public, then the control can diminish.

To conclude
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary to take certain actions, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
such huge media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
from ruining the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the miserable.
Furthermore
, when we actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, that
Did you mean "there"?
their
is an issue,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
then we can take steps towards the elimination. It is time, that we should not pay heed to these criminals. We should trust each other, and
that is
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hope.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little can be done to rectify this. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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