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whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little can be done to rectify this. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.4

whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little can be done to rectify this. v. 4
There is no doubt that media plays an important role in shaping the mindset of the people, whoever controls the media has the power to influence people's opinions and attitudes. While many argue that a little can be done to reduce the influence, I believe that this is not true. In this essay, I will support my view with examples. Firstly, one can follow more than one source to check the credibility of the information. This is because comparing information from multiple authors can help to identify the main points of the issue and make one's own judgement. However, if the person is following only one medium of information he may be looking only at one side of the coin. As a consequence, this may manipulate his judgement ability. For example, If a person is following only the government run media outlet, He may only learn about the benefits of the policies but might not know the negatives. Secondly, an individual can analyse the issues by himself. The reason for this is he can have a better understanding of the issue at hand. For instance, if the person is not sure about the details provided by the media can choose to understand the situation by himself. However, If the individual chose to follow only one media he may not be able to understand the real situation. As a result, this may hamper his decision-making abilities. To conclude, In my view decreasing the influence of media can be achieved through following multiple sources and making own analysis. These methods can be two approaches to tackle the influence of news owners.
There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in shaping the mindset of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, whoever controls the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has the power to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's opinions and attitudes. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
argue that a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
can
be done
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
, I believe that this is not true. In this essay, I will support my view with examples.

Firstly
, one can follow more than one source to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the credibility of the information. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
comparing information from multiple authors can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to identify the main points of the issue and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
judgement.
However
, if the person is following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one medium of information he may be looking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
at one side of the coin. As a consequence, this may manipulate his judgement ability.
For example
, If a person is following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
outlet, He may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
learn about the benefits of the policies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
might not know the negatives.

Secondly
, an individual can
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the issues by himself.
The reason for this is
he can have a better understanding of the issue at hand.
For instance
, if the person is not sure about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
provided by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can choose to understand the situation by himself.
However
, If the individual chose to follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
he may not be able to understand the real situation.
As a result
, this may hamper his decision-making abilities.

To conclude
, In my view decreasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can
be achieved
through following multiple sources and making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
analysis. These methods can be two approaches to tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
of news owners.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little can be done to rectify this. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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