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Whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little can be done to rectify this. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.3

Whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little can be done to rectify this. v. 3
Throughout the history there were several attempts to curb and censor articles in the press. Nowadays it is still a pressing problem and measures must be taken to tackle it. As far as I am concerned, controlling society's opinion is only partially attainable for those who are in charge of the media. First and foremost, nowadays people, a specially well educated ones, are not dependent on the media as they were before. For example, they often distrust bias articles and try to form an opinion of their own. This part of the society is aware that the government or big companies may own media sources and attempt to alter real facts to make themselves look better. In this day and age, with all of the state-of-the-art technologies and the existence of the internet, there are an abundance of ways to share thoughts without being censored. On the other hand, there is a part of humankind that tends to believe everything they hear on the news or radio. These people are usually poorly educates or are older and living in remote areas. For them TV, radio and newspapers are the only source of information and a problem arises when they are owned by private companies. Then the Contollers opinion can easily be added to the news, consequently, only the proffered information is going to reach audiences, whereas the disliked one will remain censored. All things considered, I can somewhat agree with the statement that the media is able to control one's attitude. There are two distinct categories of audiences: one of well educates, able to think outside the box and for their own opinion and others, usually blue-collar workers or pensioners who have a strong belief in the media. Ambiguity seen in the media is a pressing problem and solution must be provided.
Throughout the history there were several attempts to curb and censor articles in the press. Nowadays it is
still
a pressing problem and measures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
to tackle it. As far as I
am concerned
, controlling society's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
partially
attainable for those who are in charge of the media.

First
and foremost, nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, a
specially
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
ones, are not dependent on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
as they were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
For example
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
distrust bias articles and try to form an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. This part of the society is aware that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
sources and attempt to alter real facts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves look better. In this day and age, with
Consider using "all the".
all of the
state-of-the-art technologies and the existence of the internet, there are an abundance of ways to share thoughts without
being censored
.

On the other hand
, there is a part of humankind that tends to believe everything they hear on the news or radio. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
usually
poorly
educates or are older and living in remote areas. For them TV, radio and newspapers are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
source of information and a problem arises when they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. Then the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Contollers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
can
easily
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the news,
consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the proffered information is going to reach audiences, whereas the disliked one will remain censored.

All things considered, I can somewhat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is able to control one's attitude. There are two distinct categories of audiences: one of well educates, able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
outside the box and for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
,
usually
blue-collar workers or pensioners who have a strong belief in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. Ambiguity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is a pressing problem and solution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be provided
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little can be done to rectify this. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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