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Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty and give your opinion. v.4

Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty and give your opinion. v. 4
The numbers of criminals have been increasing for a long period. While some lawyers and politicians believe that death penalty is the strict rule to prevent future cases, some activists argue that it should be non-negotiable to discuss a person’s life even if they are violent criminals. This essay will highlight both arguments which have proven pros and cons. First of all, the governments issue a law to decrease the ratio of crimes, however, it has been seen that the number of cases has been increasing. That’s the reason why politicians support the death penalty. In fact, if some concrete punishments like the death penalty come into operation, it is believed that violations could become less. Moreover, due to the high volume of prisoners, the jails are working with almost full capacity. So, the governments have to build more prison around the country, and it causes a high financial burden for every citizen. For instance, if the death penalty becomes legal and protected by laws, there would be more space for criminals, so governments do not oblige to construct new facilities. On the other hand, in this contemporary world, human rights have become crucial for all societies. Developed countries have been issuing laws to protect people’s lives in line with human rights. Moreover, according to the Human Rights Declaration, every member of the united union has to follow the rules in line with the clauses of the agreement. If a country makes death penalty legal, it would be faced with some restrictions from other members. Furthermore, it should not be forgotten that every person has a family or friends. Instead of killing people, lawmakers should consider the negative impacts on society and future generations. For instance, if a father is punished by the death penalty, what will his children do? Most importantly, nobody can guarantee that the psychology of the children would not be affected. In conclusion, in the light of information given above, even if there are minor advantages, mostly regarding finances, every community should follow the human rights and act in line with the human rights declaration to not come across significant drawbacks in the future.
The numbers of criminals have been increasing for a long period. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lawyers and politicians believe that death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is the strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
future cases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activists argue that it should be non-negotiable to discuss a person’s life even if they are violent criminals. This essay will highlight both arguments which have proven pros and cons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
issue a law to decrease the ratio of crimes,
however
, it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the number of cases has been increasing. That’s the reason why politicians support the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
. In fact, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
concrete punishments like the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into operation, it
is believed
that violations could become less.
Moreover
, due to the high volume of prisoners, the jails are working with almost full capacity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
build more prison around the country, and it causes a high financial burden for every citizen.
For instance
, if the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
becomes legal and protected by laws, there would be more space for criminals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
do not oblige to construct new facilities.

On the other hand
, in this contemporary world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
have become crucial for all societies.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Developed countries
have been issuing laws to protect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in line with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
.
Moreover
, according to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rights
Declaration, every member of the united union
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
in line with the clauses of the agreement. If a country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
legal, it would
be faced
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrictions from other members.
Furthermore
, it should not
be forgotten
that every person has a family or friends.
Instead
of killing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, lawmakers should consider the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on society and future generations.
For instance
, if a father
is punished
by the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
, what will his children do? Most
importantly
, nobody can guarantee that the psychology of the children would not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.

In conclusion
, in the light of information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
above, even if there are minor advantages,
mostly
regarding finances, every community should follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
and act in line with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
declaration to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across significant drawbacks in the future.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty and give your opinion. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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