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Whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little can be done to rectify this. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is often claimed that public sentiments are being governed by mass media and its holders, limiting ways to correct this. I completely agree with the above statement because of the ultimate power of any organization such as government, and the media censoring the real information due to political influence. To begin with, government has incredible power to control mainstream media along with the views of people. That is to say, not only government uses the media in getting the message delivered to the public but also portraying the idea in the best interests of the public. Let us suppose that government has decided that members of the society should wear identity cards to keep a track of who does what and where they are doing. In this case, government could use media machine to convince and force the majority of the population and the objectors of the idea to agree that the usage of identity cards is of greater benefit for the public considering security reasons, irrespective of the long term agenda of the government. Had the government directly approached the public, there might be strong resistance and public criticism and therefore, by keeping media as a mediator, it can influence the attitudes of people, thus leaving no remedy for them to revert back with action. Additionally, media houses often willingly censor real information because the owners of the media houses are members of the political elite themselves and therefore, they share the goals and outcomes of those leaders. Profits ranks higher than truth telling with these owners and therefore the news editors are forced to rectify, omit and broadcast information which might contain false and biased content, which the public could be forced to believe, thereby lacking alternatives to do something about it than solely believing on the delivered content. In conclusion, owing to the strong power of the government in using media along with the influence of political parties which enable journalists to censor real content, it can be firmly agreed that the organizations which exert control on media have the capability to impact the opinions of people.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
claimed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
sentiments are
being governed
by mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and its holders, limiting ways to correct this. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the ultimate power of any organization such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
censoring the real information due to political influence.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has incredible power to control mainstream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
along with the views of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
That is
to say, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in getting the message delivered to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
portraying the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
in the best interests of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us suppose that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has decided that members of the society should wear identity cards to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of who does what and where they are doing.
In this case
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
machine to convince and force the majority of the population and the objectors of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the usage of identity cards is of greater benefit for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
considering security reasons, irrespective of the long term agenda of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. Had the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
directly
approached the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
, there might be strong resistance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
criticism and
therefore
, by keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
as a mediator, it can influence the attitudes of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
thus
leaving no remedy for them to
Consider using "revert".
revert back
with action.

Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
willingly
censor real information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the owners of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
are members of the political elite themselves and
therefore
, they share the goals and outcomes of those leaders.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "Profit ranks" or "Profits rank".
Profits ranks
higher than truth telling with these owners and
therefore
the news editors
are forced
to rectify, omit and broadcast information which might contain false and biased content, which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
could
be forced
to believe, thereby lacking alternatives to do something about it than
solely
believing on the delivered content.

In conclusion
, owing to the strong power of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
along with the influence of political parties which enable journalists to censor real content, it can be
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that the organizations which exert control on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have the capability to impact the opinions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
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IELTS essay Whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little can be done to rectify this.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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