Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

While studying some students take weekend or evening jobs to help with expenditure. How do you feel about this? What are the drawbacks and benefits of such a decision? v.2

While studying some students take weekend or evening jobs to help with expenditure. How do you feel about this? What are the drawbacks and benefits of such a decision? v. 2
Nowadays, it is quite common to see many students engaged in part time jobs. A number of learners work after school or college hours in order to meet their expenses. This essay will delve into the pros and cons of such a trend of students taking up such jobs. On one hand, there are many advantages of doing a part-time job. To begin with, young learners are able to earn money, which help in decreasing the burden of expenses on their parent’s pockets. Moreover, it helps the young ones to tackle the situations by themselves, which, in turn, build their confidence. Likewise, by engaging in such jobs a pupil can gain many qualities such as, developing communication skills and, time and money management, which proves to be beneficial in the later stage of their life. On the other hand, there are various detrimental effects of working half time after college hours. The students usually lose their interest in studies as they are more focused towards their job. In addition to this, a greater number of stressful hours result in deterioration of the mental health of young. To illustrate, around 80 percent of students doing part time jobs are seen to be prone to some kind of mental disease such as depression, thus, affecting the society as a whole. To conclude, although engaging in a job is an excellent opportunity for the pupils to gain various qualities which help them in their future career prospects, however, it should not be done at the cost of ignoring education.
Nowadays, it is quite common to
see
many
students
engaged in part
time
jobs
. A number of learners work after school or college hours in order to
meet
their expenses. This essay will delve into the pros and cons of such a trend of
students
taking up such jobs.

On one hand, there are
many
advantages of doing a part-time
job
. To
begin
with, young learners are able to earn money, which
help
in decreasing the burden of expenses on their parent’s pockets.
Moreover
, it
helps
the young ones to tackle the situations by themselves, which, in turn, build their confidence.
Likewise
, by engaging in such
jobs
a pupil can gain
many
qualities such as, developing communication
skills
and,
time
and money management, which proves to be beneficial in the later stage of their life.

On the other hand
, there are various detrimental effects of working half
time
after college hours. The
students
usually
lose their interest in studies as they are more focused towards their
job
.
In addition
to this, a greater number of stressful hours result in deterioration of the mental health of young. To illustrate, around 80 percent of
students
doing part
time
jobs
are
seen
to be prone to
some
kind of mental disease such as depression,
thus
, affecting the society as a whole.

To conclude
, although engaging in a
job
is an excellent opportunity for the pupils to gain various qualities which
help
them in their future career prospects,
however
, it should not
be done
at the cost of ignoring education.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay While studying some students take weekend or evening jobs to help with expenditure. How do you feel about this? What are the drawbacks and benefits of such a decision? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts