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Describe a major decision you have taken in your life You should say What the decision was What other choices were available to you Why you made the decision you did And explain if you think the decision was a good one v.1

Describe a major decision you have taken in your life You should say What the decision was What other choices were available to you Why you made the decision you did And explain if you think the decision was a good one v. 1
It is a view held by a few individuals that because of increasing college expenditure, and decreasing job opportunities, universities should refrain from teaching humanities subjects like philosophy, and history. Instead, they must focus on practical degree courses that would increase the chances of employment. I disagree with the view held and would elaborate on my reasons. Students choose their career path while at school. When they leave the institution to study further, they have a set goal in mind. Hence, they take subjects based on their abilities to cope with studies that will help them further with a career. A university is but an institution, which offers only the best to its prospects. Studies beyond collegiate education have always been expensive. When pupils decide on the occupation, they want to engage with, they simultaneously focus, on the education required to achieve the goal. Although there are limitations with philosophy, and history as a career choice, it is easier now to flip fields with these backgrounds. For example: A graduate in history can also find a job as a research analyst apart from being an archaeologist. These branches of study are not limited to just one field. On the contrary courses like medicine, and engineering is often lucrative due to the money earned. But, these often are difficult for people struggling with numbers and excessive studies. Every human being has a unique intellectual capacity. It cannot be the case where because employment with art’s subjects is low that people will opt for something beyond their capability. In conclusion, employment is not limited it is the skill set that do not match.
It is a view held by a few individuals that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of increasing college expenditure, and decreasing job opportunities, universities should refrain from teaching humanities subjects like philosophy, and history.
Instead
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
focus on practical degree courses that would increase the chances of employment. I disagree with the view held and would elaborate on my reasons.

Students choose their career path while at school. When they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the institution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
further
, they have a set goal in mind.
Hence
, they take subjects based on their abilities to cope with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
further
with a career. A university is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
an institution, which offers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the best to its prospects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Studies
beyond collegiate education have always been expensive. When pupils decide on the occupation, they want to engage with, they
simultaneously
focus, on the education required to achieve the goal. Although there are limitations with philosophy, and history as a career choice, it is easier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to flip fields with these backgrounds.
For example
: A graduate in history can
also
find a job as a research analyst apart from being an archaeologist. These branches of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
are not limited to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one field.

On the contrary
courses like medicine, and engineering is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lucrative due to the money earned.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, these
The adverb 'often' usually goes after the verb 'are'.
often are
difficult for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
struggling with numbers and excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. Every human being has a unique intellectual capacity. It cannot be the case where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
employment with art’s subjects is low that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will opt for something beyond their capability.

In conclusion
, employment is not limited it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
set that do not match.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Describe a major decision you have taken in your life You should say What the decision was What other choices were available to you Why you made the decision you did And explain if you think the decision was a good one v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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