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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.11

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. v. 11
The salaries of sports professionals are much higher than those of people in other professions. Some believe that this is the right approach, whereas others consider this to be unjustifiable. In my opinion, there should not be a significant difference between the earnings of sports people and other professionals. Those who support the high earnings of sports professionals claim that sports stars should earn high salaries because they are under constant pressure to perform. In addition to this, they are highly skilled people who bring name and fame for the country. Talented sportsmen and women can even enhance the reputation of their country by winning international championships. Yet, there is no justification for giving them astronomical salaries, especially since their contribution to improving the lives of their fellow people is negligible. On the other hand, there are other professions, such as teaching and medicine, which are even more important than sports. The amount of money one makes should be equivalent to the value of service one provides to society. Teachers play an essential role in imparting knowledge and shaping the character and personality of children. Similarly, doctors work tirelessly to save precious lives. These professionals should earn high salaries because of their valuable services. But this is not the case. For example, the annual salary of a teacher is less than the single match fee of cricketers in India. This cannot be justified in any way. To conclude, I believe that a vast gap in the salaries of sportsperson and other professionals is neither fair nor healthy, and hence the government should enact policies to narrow this pay gap. The government should raise the salaries of other valuable professions and meanwhile collect higher taxes from sports professionals to ensure balance in the society.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
are much higher than those of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
professions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that this is the right approach, whereas others consider this to be unjustifiable. In my opinion, there should not be a significant difference between the earnings of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
professionals.

Those who support the high earnings of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
stars should earn high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are under constant pressure to perform.
In addition
to this, they are
highly
skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who bring name and fame for the country. Talented sportsmen and women can even enhance the reputation of their country by winning international championships.
Yet
, there is no justification for giving them astronomical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
,
especially
since their contribution to improving the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of their fellow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
negligible.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
professions, such as teaching and medicine, which are even more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. The amount of money one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
should be equivalent to the value of service one provides to society. Teachers play an essential role in imparting knowledge and shaping the character and personality of children.
Similarly
, doctors work
tirelessly
to save precious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
should earn high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their valuable services.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this is not the case.
For example
, the annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
of a teacher is less than the single match fee of cricketers in India. This cannot
be justified
in any way.

To conclude
, I believe that a vast gap in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of sportsperson and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
is neither
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
nor healthy, and
hence
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should enact policies to narrow this pay gap. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
valuable professions and meanwhile collect higher taxes from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
to ensure balance in the society.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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