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While studying some students take weekend or evening jobs to help with expenditure. How do you feel about this? What are the drawbacks and benefits of such a decision? v.3

While studying some students take weekend or evening jobs to help with expenditure. How do you feel about this? What are the drawbacks and benefits of such a decision? v. 3
Meeting expenses while being a student has been a challenge. Doing a part-time work to accommodate daily needs has advantages as well as disadvantages which need to be weighed before making a choice. The benefits are ease of fee payment and additional pocket money. In this expensive world, paying a course fee is an insurmountable obstacle for the middle and lower class society. Hence, it has become inevitable for students to contemplate another source of income. Another chief reason is pocket money for personal expenditure. Most children like to possess extra cash at their disposal because it gives some flexibility and independence in choosing things they want to buy and to satisfy their little desires. On the flip side, working after studies can cause stress and also trigger deviation from studies. Doing a job beyond school hours could have an adverse effect on the mental health of a student due to a large number of hours that are spent on stressful activities. Further, deterioration of health could lead to depression and increased anxiety. Another demerit is a distraction from the mainstream which is education. Few students could get lured to part-time work in search of easy money and gradually shift focus from school work to temporary job as they taste the benefits of money. This enticement could seriously mislead them to become aimless citizens. To recapitulate, there are both merits and demerits to doing an additional job. I opine that students have to carefully introspect and monitor their situation and take an approach tailor-made for them as one strategy does not fit all the pupils. If they need to work due to a poor financial background, they must strike a balance between earning extra money and studying, which assures that there would no side effects due to side income.
Meeting expenses while being a
student
has been a challenge. Doing a part-time
work
to accommodate daily needs has advantages
as well
as disadvantages which need to
be weighed
before
making a choice.

The benefits are
ease
of fee payment and additional pocket
money
. In this expensive world, paying a course fee is an insurmountable obstacle for the middle and lower
class
society.
Hence
, it has become inevitable for
students
to contemplate another source of income. Another chief reason is pocket
money
for personal expenditure. Most children like to possess extra cash at their disposal
because
it gives
some
flexibility and independence in choosing things they want to
buy
and to satisfy their
little
desires.

On the flip side, working after studies can cause
stress
and
also
trigger deviation from studies. Doing a job beyond school hours could have an adverse effect on the mental health of a
student
due to
a large number of
hours that
are spent
on stressful activities.
Further
, deterioration of health could lead to depression and increased anxiety. Another demerit is a distraction from the mainstream which is education. Few
students
could
get
lured to part-time
work
in search of easy
money
and
gradually
shift focus from school
work
to temporary job as they taste the benefits of
money
. This enticement could
seriously
mislead them to become aimless citizens.

To recapitulate, there are both merits and demerits to doing an additional job. I opine that
students
have to
carefully
introspect and monitor their situation and take an approach tailor-made for them as one strategy does not fit all the pupils. If they need to
work
due to a poor financial background, they
must
strike a balance between earning extra
money
and studying, which assures that there would no side effects due to side income.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay While studying some students take weekend or evening jobs to help with expenditure. How do you feel about this? What are the drawbacks and benefits of such a decision? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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