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While some people think that the problem with education in poor countries is the teaching methodology used, others believe it is the lack of resources that is the real issue. Discuss both sides. v.2

While some people think that the problem with education in poor countries is the teaching methodology used, others believe it is the lack of resources that is the real issue. v. 2
It is believed that some companies complain about the poor communication skills of their new hires such as working in a group. In my opinion, one of the reasons is the majority of students who did not get a comprehensive education. This problem results from a substantial number of causes to which several solutions will be proposed in this essay. On the one hand, optimate education leads to lack of socializing skill of the staff. To begin with, the cause of this problem can be found in the school. The students are encouraged to achieve personal excellence on exams instead of having social skills or working in a group to become team players. For example, some students study in architecture university when doing the project about designing they can make the construction drawing and they did not know that the materials in that drawing are really having to complete a building. Furthermore, there are a significant number of students who have limited communication at school and difficulty in connecting with the class members. On the other hand, in order to conduct business effectively, companies must train new employees to acquire interpersonal skills. Initially, it is necessary to develop cooperative skills, make the most of latest management techniques. For instance, some companies organize some weekend activities which workers have to work in a group or create some outdoor activities to raise the confrontation between the employees and their colleagues. Moreover, they do not work in the office, but also go outside to practice at the construction site. To sum up, there are a substantial number of solutions to tackle in a lack of basic interpersonal skills in new workers.
It
is believed
that
some
companies
complain about the poor communication
skills
of their new hires such as working in a group. In my opinion, one of the reasons is the majority of
students
who did not
get
a comprehensive education. This problem results from a substantial number of causes to which several solutions will
be proposed
in this essay.

On the one hand,
optimate
education leads to lack of socializing
skill
of the staff. To
begin
with, the cause of this problem can
be found
in the school. The
students
are encouraged
to achieve personal excellence on exams
instead
of having social
skills
or working in a group to become team players.
For example
,
some
students
study in architecture university when doing the project about designing they can
make
the construction
drawing and
they did not know that the materials in that drawing are
really
having to complete a building.
Furthermore
, there are a significant number of
students
who have limited communication at school and difficulty in connecting with the
class
members.

On the other hand
, in order to conduct business
effectively
,
companies
must
train new employees to acquire interpersonal
skills
.
Initially
, it is necessary to develop cooperative
skills
,
make
the most of
latest
management techniques.
For instance
,
some
companies
organize
some
weekend activities which workers
have to
work in a group or create
some
outdoor activities to raise the confrontation between the employees and their colleagues.
Moreover
, they do not work in the office,
but
also
go outside to practice at the construction site.

To sum up, there are a substantial number of solutions to tackle in a lack of basic interpersonal
skills
in new workers.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay While some people think that the problem with education in poor countries is the teaching methodology used, others believe it is the lack of resources that is the real issue. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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