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Some people think that teaching methodology in the modern classroom should be based on experiential learning. While others believe that traditional approach is still the best. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the opinion? v.1

Some people think that teaching methodology in the modern classroom should be based on experiential learning. While others believe that traditional approach is still the best. with the opinion? v. 1
There is no doubt that competition is a normal phenomenon for survival. A few people believe that males tend to compete more easily than females. This essay will explain why I strongly hold a contrary opinion. To begin with, Most women are characteristically envious of anyone, man or woman, who seem to be better than they perceive themselves to be. As a result, they strive to always be a step ahead of their contemporaries. For example, light skinned ladies are envied by a lot of dark skinned women, which has made skin bleaching so popular in societies where most of their woman are black. Reports have also shown that women size up other women at events, public places, and even within families, leading them to want to hike their personality, behaviour, body features and even gears. Secondly, It is important to consider the stereotype, that Women are weaker vessels, with regards to men. They allotted the second place in the society, denied some particular types of jobs and in some communities, they are not allowed to speak when men talk. This has led to so many women coming together to agree to prove the society wrong. So, when women are given some positions to run, they deal with it with so much aggressiveness and a determination not to fail. This makes females naturally more ambitious. For instance, most women who work in male dominated occupations such as construction, farming, mechanics, etc. , tend to have more zeal than the men. In conclusion, women, due to their generally jealous nature, coupled with the desire to contradict the believe that they are lesser than men, tend to be more highly in rivalry as compared to men.
There is no doubt that competition is a normal phenomenon for survival. A few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that males tend to compete more
easily
than females. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I
strongly
hold a contrary opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
characteristically
envious of anyone,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
or woman, who seem to be better than they perceive themselves to be.
As a result
, they strive to always be a step ahead of their contemporaries.
For example
, light skinned ladies
are envied
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
dark skinned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, which has made skin bleaching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
popular in societies where most of their woman are black. Reports have
also
shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
size up other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, public places, and even within families, leading them to want to hike their personality,
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, body features and even gears.

Secondly
, It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider the stereotype, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
are
This expression can be considered offensive.
weaker vessels
,
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. They allotted the second place in the society, denied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular types of jobs and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
communities, they are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to speak when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
talk. This has led to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
coming together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to prove the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
positions to run, they deal with it with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much aggressiveness and a determination not to fail. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
females
naturally
more ambitious.
For instance
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who work in male dominated occupations such as construction, farming, mechanics, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
tend to have more zeal than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, due to their
generally
jealous nature, coupled with the desire to contradict the
Did you mean "belief" (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
believe
that they are lesser than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
, tend to be more
highly
in rivalry as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people think that teaching methodology in the modern classroom should be based on experiential learning. While others believe that traditional approach is still the best. with the opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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