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While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attention to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and include relevant examples. v.2

While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attention to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. Give your opinion and include relevant examples. v. 2
When hiring a new employee, their qualifications and experience are often said to be the most important. However, some believe that more focus should be given to their personality. From my perspective, it seems that qualifications and experience are important, but positive personal qualities require more attention. To begin with, having suitable qualifications and experience are necessary because it shows that a person knows about the job and can perform it. Many jobs require a person to have advanced knowledge of a certain area and also a long time working in that field so that they will not make any errors that might lead to disastrous results, like lawsuits or even death. No one would go to a doctor to a lawyer who did not have some kind of degree in medicine or law, for instance. However, although qualifications and experience can be the most important things, they can be less relevant if an employee has negative personal qualities. Many jobs require people to work in an office space nearby to many other people, and if someone causes problems because of their personality or attitude, it can affect other people’s work and the performance of the company. For example, I have a friend who is quite smart, but is really lazy, so I think if he was hired for a job, he could do it, but he would be too lazy and other colleagues would have to do his work for him, which would lead to bad feelings in the workplace. Overall, I believe that a perfect employee has good qualification, experience, and personal characteristics. Employers should look at person’s qualifications and experience first, and then look at their personality to see if they will be more trouble than they are worth.
When hiring a new employee, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said to be the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that more focus should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to their personality. From my perspective, it seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
personal qualities require more attention.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, having suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
are necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that a person knows about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and can perform it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require a person to have advanced knowledge of a certain area and
also
a long time working in that field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any errors that might lead to disastrous results, like lawsuits or even death. No one would go to a doctor to a lawyer who did not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of degree in medicine or law,
for instance
.

However
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
can be the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things, they can be less relevant if an employee has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
personal qualities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to work in an office space nearby to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, and if someone causes problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their personality or attitude, it can affect other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s work and the performance of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
For example
, I have a friend who is quite smart,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is
really
lazy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if he
was hired
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, he could do it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he would be too lazy and other colleagues would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do his work for him, which would lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
feelings in the workplace.

Overall
, I believe that a perfect employee has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, and personal characteristics. Employers should look at person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
first
, and then look at their personality to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
if they will be more trouble than they are worth.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attention to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. Give your opinion and include relevant examples. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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