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While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attention to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and include relevant examples. v.4

While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attention to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. Give your opinion and include relevant examples. v. 4
In recent times, there has been a constant debate going on to decide what should be the criteria an employer should consider for selecting an employee. While some argue that what matters is the qualifications and experience, another group of people believe that the main deciding factor should be their personal qualities. I completely agree to the latter side of the argument. It is true that qualifications and experience are important factors while selecting a candidate for a job. This will ensure whether he or she is capable of doing the work in the desired way. For instance, a computer science graduate is the best choice for an IT coding job compared to an arts graduate. Moreover, experienced people will always have an upper hand in the job market since they are knowledgeable and the hiring firm do not have to spent time and effort on getting the work done by them. However, I have the opinion that personal qualities ought to have a better say when it comes to employment. Even though someone has a degree to prove that he is capable of doing the job, if the attitude is wrong, then it will affect the company and the work environment. Many a times, importance is given to certificates rather than personal qualities, which as we knoe is a bit difficult to measure. For example, if the company hires a manager who has made a lot of businesses in the past company, but was fired because of his anger issues, it will affect others who are working under him. Hence, the decisions should be taken with atmost care. Besides, this should be the responsibility of human resourse department to find the right people. To conclude, a heathy work environment is essential for the development of any organisation. It is essential to choose the right people with correct mindset and qualities for the betterment of the employer as well as the employees.
In recent times, there has been a constant debate going on to decide what should be the criteria an employer should consider for selecting an employee. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that what matters
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "am", "are", "aren".
is
the qualifications and experience, another group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the main deciding factor should be their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the latter side of the argument.

It is true that qualifications and experience are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors while selecting a candidate for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. This will ensure whether he or she is capable of doing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the desired way.
For instance
, a computer science graduate is the best choice for an IT coding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
compared to an arts graduate.
Moreover
, experienced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will always have an upper hand in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market since they are knowledgeable and the hiring firm do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spent time and effort on getting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
done by them.

However
, I have the opinion that personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
ought to have a better say when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to employment.
Even though
someone has a degree to prove that he is capable of doing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, if the attitude is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, then it will affect the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a time" or simply "times"?
a times
, importance is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to certificates
rather
than personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
, which as we
Possible spelling mistake found.
knoe
is a bit difficult to measure.
For example
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
hires a manager who has made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
businesses in the past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
was fired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his anger issues, it will affect others who are working under him.
Hence
, the decisions should
be taken
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
atmost
care.
Besides
, this should be the responsibility of human
Possible spelling mistake found.
resourse
department to find the right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
heathy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment is essential for the development of any
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
. It is essential to choose the right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with correct mindset and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
for the betterment of the employer
as well
as the employees.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attention to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. Give your opinion and include relevant examples. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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