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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words. v.1

: Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. v. 1
‘We remember our lives through the memories we make’, is an apt phrase to explain the conundrum presented in essay topic. Memories are a contradiction of life lived, we smile reminiscing bad memories and our heart feels a moment of bleakness when we look back at the good ones, isn’t that something amazing? . In this essay I would like to discuss the difference of opinion when people are asked about the happiest time in their lives. Although teenage are the years when we are young adults getting ready to face the world of opportunity, but those are the years when we allowed to make mistakes, be frivolous, discover ourselves and make the most out of it. In those years we make friends that we expect are going to spend the rest of life with us, thus without any judgement do the craziest things we can think off. Being full of energy and having the time to utilise it on non responsible stuff, for some of us makes it the perfect starter kit for some happy memories. But all minds work differently and thus for some, being frivolous and doing crazy stuff is not all, they are driven with passion to do something, shoulder the burden of responsibility and be an independent individual who can take pride in his or her achievements. Once we are adults the challenges of life become real, we start doing things that matter in life like helping a friend in need, paying off the bills, starting a family, the list goes on. In this process, we meet people that we hang on to and do stuff that we take forward with us as a learning process. The feeling of happiness that we get when finally accomplish something we have been working so hard for, can sure be ingrained in memories for life. Also for some, teenage can be toiled with hardships like being the odd one out in the class, family difficulties, etc. , which can be difficult to deal with, where as for the rest probably the adult life might be conjured with unknown problems like career difficulties, heartbreaks, money problems, etc. In conclusion, I would like to say, happiness can be subjective to a person and teenage as well as adult life can bring a smile on your face, but we cannot declare either one as the clear winner, let the footsteps of memories left in life be the judge of it.
‘We remember our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memories
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make’
, is an apt phrase to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the conundrum presented in essay topic.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Memories
are a contradiction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
, we smile reminiscing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memories
and our heart feels a moment of bleakness when we look back at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ones, isn’t that something amazing?
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
In this essay I would like to discuss the difference of opinion when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are asked
about the happiest time in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Although teenage are the years when we are young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
getting ready to face the world of opportunity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
those are the years when we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
mistakes, be frivolous, discover ourselves and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the most out of it. In those years we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
friends that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
are going to spend the rest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with us,
thus
without any judgement do the craziest things we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Did you mean "of"?
off
. Being full of energy and having the time to
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
it on
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non responsible
stuff, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
it the perfect starter kit for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
happy memories.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
all minds work
differently
and
thus
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, being frivolous and doing crazy stuff is not all, they
are driven
with passion to do something, shoulder the burden of responsibility and be an independent individual who can take pride in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
achievements. Once we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
the challenges of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
become real, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
doing things that matter in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
like helping a friend in need, paying off the bills, starting a family, the list goes on. In this process, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that we hang on to and do stuff that we take forward with us as a learning process. The feeling of happiness that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
when
finally
accomplish something we have been working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for, can sure
be ingrained
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memories
for life.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, teenage can
be toiled
with hardships like being the odd one out in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, family difficulties, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
which can be difficult to deal with,
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
for the rest
probably
the adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
might
be conjured
with unknown problems like career difficulties, heartbreaks, money problems, etc.
In conclusion
, I would like to say, happiness can be subjective to a person and teenage
as well
as adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can bring a smile on your face,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we cannot declare either one as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
winner,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the footsteps of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
be the judge of it.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay : Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
409 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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