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While in some countries children start school at the age of four, in other countries they start at the age of seven. Some people believe that starting school early affects the relationships between parents and children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of starting school early and give you opinion. v.1

While in some countries children start school at the age of four, in other countries they start at the age of seven. Some people believe that starting school early affects the relationships between parents and children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of starting school early and give you opinion. v. 1
In this day and age, more and more people emphasize the importance of education as there are challenges and competition in the future. If we want to brighten our prospect, knowledge is the prerequisite of success. Hence, a lot of parents will let their children start school at four years old, instead of the ages of seven, but some people think that the parents-children relationship will be affected by the early starting school. First of all, early starting school can let the children get familiar with the learning environment early and also nurture good attitudes and behaviour such as discipline, respect towards teachers and being kind with friends. Although it is sad for the children to leave their parents, it is the important time to lay a steadily educational foundation for children. We can see the disparity of the education level between children start school at four years old and seven years old. It is undeniable that the sooner that the children are educated are more clever than the children who start school at the age of seven. from another aspect, children spend less time with their parents is obvious disadvantage. Nowadays, parents who are busy at work will entrust their children to school or tuition centre and pick up them until the work is over, including Saturday. Apart of studying, we can see that children spend the longest time with the teachers and friends. It is indirectly caused the children will not share and talk to their parents about their thought and the relationship become estranged. In conclusion, parents have the responsibility to let their children adopt education and ensure them have adsorbed knowledge in the school. In the good situation, children can learn more and study without any stress.
In this day and age, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
emphasize the importance of education as there are challenges and competition in the future. If we want to brighten our prospect, knowledge is the prerequisite of success.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at four years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
,
instead
of the ages of seven,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the parents-children relationship will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the early starting school.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, early starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with the learning environment early and
also
nurture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
attitudes and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
such as discipline, respect towards teachers and being
The usual preposition to use with "kind" is "to." Did you mean "kind to"?
kind with
friends. Although it is sad for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, it is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
time to lay a
steadily
educational foundation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the disparity of the education level between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at four years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and seven years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. It is undeniable that the sooner that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are educated
are more clever than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at the age of seven.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
from
another aspect,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend less time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is obvious disadvantage. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who are busy at work will entrust their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or tuition
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and pick up them until the work is over, including Saturday.
Wrong collocation. Did you mean "apart from"?
Apart of
studying, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend the longest time with the teachers and friends. It is
indirectly
caused the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will not share and talk to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
and the relationship become estranged.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have the responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
adopt education and ensure them have adsorbed knowledge in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
situation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn more and study without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay While in some countries children start school at the age of four, in other countries they start at the age of seven. Some people believe that starting school early affects the relationships between parents and children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of starting school early and give you opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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