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03/10/2017In some countries, children start school at the age of four and in other countries at the age of seven. Some people believe that early school start is affecting parent-child relationships. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of starting scho v.2

03/10/2017In some countries, children start school at the age of four and in other countries at the age of seven. Some people believe that early school start is affecting parent-child relationships. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of starting scho v. 2
Many believe school education ought to be started at an early age while others disagree with this prospect and claim embarking studying at age of seven is more desirable. Below shortages and benefits of each point of view will be discussed in details and author’s opinion will be stated. On the one hand, being enrolled in elementary school at age of four brings some indispensable advantages. Firstly, today’s requirements to school graduate as well as a volume of information that has to be absorbed by the offspring while being in the school system have been steadily growing in a recent decade. Thus, those kids who become pupils earlier get an advantage that may help them to be more successful in pursuing a degree at a university level. Secondly, many contemporary parents have to devote a considerable proportion of their lives to working, not educating their progeny. Thus some youngsters may be neglected and do not get needed attention, guidance and role models that are required for proper development of their brains and personal characteristics. Giving a child at school earlier will guarantee all small descendants will get proper preparation and upbringing because teachers who are professional educators will reassure the results. On the other hand, the idea of starting schooling later in life possesses some fruits as well. Primarily, having a careless childhood is associated with not studying. Young individuals may play and have fun all day long without being forced to sit in one place and to learn how to read, count or draw. Thus, the kids’ personal development is not rushed and they acquire knowledge about the world in their own pace. Furthermore, mothers and fathers of those who will begin education later have a possibility to spend more time with their offspring and to give them love, care and emotions that children need to form healthy personality. A recent psychological research showcased that those youngsters who spent their early years by playing, conversing and chatting with parents have a lower level of anxiety and higher self-esteem than those who did not get the experiences. Those are several benefits of the second idea. In my opinion, it appears that beginning studying at age of seven is more useful and beneficial for descendants on a long run because being mentally and psychologically healthy is crucial for being a happy adult.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
education ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
while others disagree with this prospect and claim embarking studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of seven is more desirable. Below shortages and benefits of each point of view will
be discussed
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and author’s opinion will
be stated
.

On the one hand,
being enrolled
in elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of four brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
indispensable advantages.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s requirements to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
graduate
as well
as a volume of information that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be absorbed
by the offspring while being in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
system have been
steadily
growing in a recent decade.
Thus
, those kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
become pupils earlier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an advantage that may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to be more successful in pursuing a degree at a university level.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
contemporary parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
devote a considerable proportion of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to working, not educating their progeny.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
youngsters may
be neglected
and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
needed attention, guidance and role models that
are required
for proper development of their brains and personal characteristics. Giving a child at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
earlier will guarantee all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
descendants will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper preparation and upbringing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are professional educators will reassure the results.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of starting schooling later in life possesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fruits
as well
.
Primarily
, having a careless childhood
is associated
with not studying. Young individuals may play and have fun all day long without
being forced
to sit in one place and to learn how to read, count or draw.
Thus
, the kids’ personal development is not
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
rushed and
they acquire knowledge about the world in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace.
Furthermore
, mothers and fathers of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
education later have a possibility to spend more time with their offspring and to give them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, care and emotions that children need to form healthy personality.
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "recent psychological research".
A recent psychological research
showcased that those youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
spent their early years by playing, conversing and chatting with parents have a lower level of anxiety and higher self-esteem than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the experiences. Those are several benefits of the second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

In my opinion, it appears that beginning studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of seven is more useful and beneficial for descendants on a long run
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
being mentally and
psychologically
healthy is crucial for being a happy adult.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay 03/10/2017In some countries, children start school at the age of four and in other countries at the age of seven. Some people believe that early school start is affecting parent-child relationships. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of starting scho v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
391 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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