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Which would you choose: a higher paid job with long hours or an average paid job with normal work hours? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details. v.1

Which would you choose: a higher paid job with long hours or an average paid job with normal work hours? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details. v. 1
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that automobiles are the most beneficial method of travelling in an urban area, whereas other members of society suppose that a bike is more advantageous. In my perspective, making a journey by cycle is environmentally-friendly rather than by car, which burns fossil fuel, and these toxic substances contribute to air pollution. A commonly held belief is that the most appropriate way to travel in the city is vehicles due to the fact that they have more opportunities for the journey such as convenient sittings and air-conditioners. Furthermore, there is possibility of travelling with mates, members of family or acquaintances without any physical tensions, especially when the individual is exhausted and desires to have a tranquil leisure. As a result, the trip by car may relieve a stress, which can be acquired in a workplace or other type of sites. On the other hand, some people argue that travelling by bicycle can improve considerably people's state of health. The explanation lies in the fact that the muscles of their legs can be built due to continuous rotation of them, which may lead to an increase in the health, and also a fresh air is indispensable for every member of society. In addition, this kind of making a journey is the most suitable way for maintenance of ecosystem, which means that the bikes don't omit any poisonous material. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned above into account, I would argue that the most suited transport for travelling in the city is the cycle.
One of the
widely
discussed issues nowadays is that automobiles are the most beneficial method of
travelling
in an urban area, whereas other members of society suppose that a bike is more advantageous. In my perspective, making a journey by cycle is
environmentally
-friendly
rather
than by car, which burns fossil fuel, and these toxic substances contribute to air pollution.

A
commonly
held belief is that the most appropriate way to travel in the city is vehicles due to the fact that they have more opportunities for the journey such as convenient sittings and air-conditioners.
Furthermore
, there is possibility of
travelling
with mates, members of family or acquaintances without any physical tensions,
especially
when the individual
is exhausted
and desires to have a tranquil leisure.
As a result
, the trip by car may relieve a
stress
, which can
be acquired
in a workplace or other type of sites.

On the other hand
,
some
people
argue that
travelling
by bicycle can
improve
considerably
people
's state of health. The explanation lies in the fact that the muscles of their legs can
be built
due to continuous rotation of them, which may lead to an increase in the health, and
also
a fresh air is indispensable for every member of society.
In addition
, this kind of making a journey is the most suitable way for maintenance of ecosystem, which means that the bikes don't omit any poisonous material.

In conclusion
, taking everything mentioned above into account, I would argue that the most suited transport for
travelling
in the city is the cycle.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay Which would you choose: a higher paid job with long hours or an average paid job with normal work hours? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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