Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

More and more people in the city live in homes with small space or no outdoor areas Do you think it is a negative or positive development v.1

More and more people in the city live in homes with small space or no outdoor areas Do you think it is a negative or positive development v. 1
Many people are of the opinion that difficult subjects like mathematics and philosophy should not be kept mandatory, but made optional, as these take time to be grasped by children. In my perspective, these subjects are prerequisite for dealing with certain real life situations, thus, these should not be completely made optional, instead, these should be included as compulsory subjects at an elementary level and should be made optional in the highschool education. Firstly, looking at the problems these subjects create for students, being difficult to grasp and understand, these are leading to increasing levels of stress in the student life. Also, children struggle for hours at these, trying to get a hang of it, but still failing in the exams. Failing is an important stigma, especially, in my country India, therefore, this may demotivate many and lead to disinterest in studies. As a result, students, many times give up studies or parents themselves cancel their enrolment from schools thinking that this is a waste of money. As a drastic step, few students also commit suicide, this is evident from the increasing number of suicide reports coming in the newspapers nowadays, owing to such reasons. On the other hand, these subjects are also essential and are a part of every individual in one way or another. For example, mathematics, is involved in everyday calculations such as buying groceries, taking measurements of food items while making food and calculating discount on items while buying them. Also, philosophy greatly shapes the mind of an individual and helps one to see the world from different perspectives and make decisions as such. Philosophy would greatly impact the society by making each and every individual wiser. Thus, these subjects make way into our daily lives and they influence it in a way that people have not even realized. As a result, I feel that these subjects should be made compulsory at a primary level, such that, the knowledge imparted at this level is enough to shape the individual and aid their mundane work, so that these tasks can be completed without any obstacles and they need not depend on others to finish those properly. However, as we dig deeper into these subjects, they become highly complex and are only useful to individuals who want to build a career into this domain. Thus, at the higher levels such as high school, these should be made as an elective, wherein, only interested students may pursue it. In conclusion, as thought by many individuals, certain subjects are indeed difficult and thus should be made optional for children. Looking at the extent of the importance of these at different levels of education, it may be more feasible to introduce these subjects mandatory in elementary school and then, giving an option at the high school and higher education such as graduation.
Many
people
are of the opinion that difficult
subjects
like mathematics and philosophy should not be
kept
mandatory,
but
made optional, as these take time to
be grasped
by children. In my perspective, these
subjects
are prerequisite for dealing with certain real life situations,
thus
, these should not be completely made optional,
instead
, these should
be included
as compulsory
subjects
at an elementary
level
and should
be made
optional in the
highschool
education.

Firstly
, looking at the problems these
subjects
create for
students
, being difficult to grasp and understand, these are leading to increasing
levels
of
stress
in the
student
life.
Also
, children struggle for hours at these, trying to
get
a hang of it,
but
still
failing in the exams. Failing is an
important
stigma,
especially
, in my country India,
therefore
, this may demotivate
many
and lead to disinterest in studies.
As a result
,
students
,
many
times give up studies or parents themselves cancel their
enrolment
from
schools
thinking that this is a waste of money. As a drastic step, few
students
also
commit suicide, this is evident from the increasing number of suicide reports coming in the newspapers nowadays, owing to such reasons.
On the other hand
, these
subjects
are
also
essential and are a part of every
individual
in one way or another.
For example
, mathematics,
is involved
in everyday calculations such as buying groceries, taking measurements of food items while making food and calculating discount on items while buying them.
Also
, philosophy
greatly
shapes the mind of an
individual
and
helps
one to
see
the world from
different
perspectives and
make
decisions as such. Philosophy would
greatly
impact the society by making each and every
individual
wiser.
Thus
, these
subjects
make
way into our daily
lives and
they influence it in a way that
people
have not even realized.

As a result
, I feel that these
subjects
should
be made
compulsory at a primary
level
, such that, the knowledge imparted at this
level
is
enough
to shape the
individual
and aid their mundane work,
so
that these tasks can
be completed
without any
obstacles and
they need not depend on others to finish those
properly
.
However
, as we dig deeper into these
subjects
, they become
highly
complex and are
only
useful to
individuals
who want to build a career into this domain.
Thus
, at the higher
levels
such as high
school
, these should
be made
as an elective, wherein,
only
interested
students
may pursue it.

In conclusion
, as
thought
by
many
individuals
, certain
subjects
are
indeed
difficult and
thus
should
be made
optional for children. Looking at the extent of the importance of these at
different
levels
of education, it may be more feasible to introduce these
subjects
mandatory in elementary
school
and
then
, giving an option at the high
school
and higher education such as graduation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people in the city live in homes with small space or no outdoor areas Do you think it is a negative or positive development v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
471 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts