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Which would you choose: a high-paying job that you didn’t enjoy, or a lower-paying job that you did enjoy? Explain your reasoning, using specific reasons and examples. v.2

Which would you choose: a high-paying job that you didn’t enjoy, or a lower-paying job that you did enjoy? Explain your reasoning, using specific reasons and examples. v. 2
There are many features of a job that employees should consider. A job with high salary could be so appealing but in my opinion, I strongly believe that people should do the job that they love according to following reasons. In the first place, when people do the job they love, they could enjoy every hour at work and have a happier life. Without passion, employees would have to force themselves to meet the work requirements, which is increasingly rigorous, especially in high salary work. After those harsh working days, they would become exhausted and their health state would definitely decrease. Fortunately, these terrible things could be avoided if people choose the work they love. They would see their work as interesting challenges and feel the happiness instead of pressure. These positive sentiments could make up a happier life which is worth any price. To illustrate this point, I would like to talk about my cousin who had a really well-paid but not enjoying job. Two years ago, he dropped that job and took a course to become an artist. His colorful life now is the best answer to all the discouragements for his decision. Secondly, doing the job that people love could help them have a greater career. The passion for the job could encourage people to invest their time in practicing and sharpening their skills and knowledge, therefore they can have expertise in their field. With that progress, they would definitely get the promotion and eventually accomplish extremely high salary. According to this flow, it’s reasonably possible to have the best of both worlds. My professor’s case would be the typical example for this. Since he was in university, he has aimed to a really new and challenging field that no one wanted to choose. After some difficult years of self-training, he now became one of three most influential figures of that field worldwide. For these above reasons, I believe that people should definitely do the job they love instead of the well-paid but not interesting ones for the sake of a happier life and an extraordinary career. As a result, there is no doubt that we should find ourselves our true calling so that not to regret afterward.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
features of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that employees should consider. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with high salary could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
appealing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
according to following reasons.

In the
first
place, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
, they could enjoy every hour at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and have a happier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Without passion, employees would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
force themselves to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
requirements, which is
increasingly
rigorous,
especially
in high salary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. After those harsh working days, they would become exhausted and their health state would definitely decrease.
Fortunately
, these terrible things could
be avoided
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
. They would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as interesting challenges and feel the happiness
instead
of pressure. These
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sentiments could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up a happier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which is worth any price. To illustrate this point, I would like to talk about my cousin who had a
really
well-paid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Two years ago, he dropped that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and took a course to become an artist. His colorful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is the best answer to all the discouragements for his decision.

Secondly
, doing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them have a greater career. The passion for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
could encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to invest their time in practicing and sharpening their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge,
therefore
they can have expertise in their field. With that progress, they would definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the promotion and
eventually
accomplish
extremely
high salary. According to this flow, it’s
reasonably
possible to have the best of both worlds. My professor’s case would be the typical example for this. Since he was in university, he has aimed to a
really
new and challenging field that no one wanted to choose. After
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficult years of self-training, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
became one of three most influential figures of that field worldwide.

For these above reasons, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should definitely do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
instead
of the well-paid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not interesting ones for the sake of a happier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and an extraordinary career.
As a result
, there is no doubt that we should find ourselves our true calling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that not to regret afterward.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Which would you choose: a high-paying job that you didn’t enjoy, or a lower-paying job that you did enjoy? Explain your reasoning, using specific reasons and examples. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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