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Imagine that you are preparing for a trip. You plan to be away from your home for a year. In addition to clothing and personal care items, you can take one additional thing. What would you take and why? Use specific reasons and details to support your cho v.4

Imagine that you are preparing for a trip. You plan to be away from your home for a year. In addition to clothing and personal care items, you can take one additional thing. What would you take and why? Use specific reasons and details to support your cho v. 4
When you go to a trip, you will need a lot of stuff rather than your clothes or your personal care items. It mainly depend on the place that you are going to. In my view, I believe that I will need my laptop with me for two important reasons. The main reason is that my laptop contain all the important documants, that I may need in my trip. We live now in a technology’s era, and we depend on our technology to do everythings. One of the important technology that we use in daily basis is the laptop and I couldn’t spend one day without using it. For example, Last month, I went in a trip to California, and I live in New jersey. I took my laptop with me in this trip. The trip took eight hours to reach its distination. While I was waiting there, I was using my laptop to do different things, I paid my bills, I played games, and even I watched a movie because my p. c. was connecting to the airplane wifi, thanks to the technology. When I was in California, it was so easy to me to manage my bank account and type any documant that I need while I am faraway from my home. Second, you will need your laptop to connect to others. While you are abroad, you will need to talk to your family, friends, or your co-workers; and the best way is by doing chat on your laptop. For example, when I was in college, In my country Iraq. I went in a trip with my friends to Egypt, for two weeks. I talked with my mother in daily bases, while I was there, using program called skype on my laptop. Also, I posted all the picture that we took in our trip[on my facebook, and that make me connected to all my friends at the same time. As you could see, I wouldn’t be able to talk to my mother and do long chats with her without using my laptop. In conclusion, I believe that there are many things that we should take with us in a long trip rather than clothes, but the most important thing is our laptop. Not only does it contain all the important documents and we use it in daily bases. But it also important to connect with others. That’s why we should all see the obvious benefits of our laptops and appreciate it existence.
When you go to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
, you will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
stuff
rather
than your clothes or your personal care items. It
mainly
Did you mean "depends"?
depend
on the place that you are going to. In my view, I believe that I will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
with me for two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
reasons.

The main reason is that my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
contain all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
Possible spelling mistake found.
documants
, that I may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology’s
era, and we depend on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to do
Possible spelling mistake found.
everythings
. One of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in daily basis is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
and I couldn’t spend one day without using it.
For example
, Last month, I went in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
to California, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
New jersey
. I took my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
with me in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
took eight hours to reach its
Possible spelling mistake found.
distination
. While I was waiting there, I was using my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things, I paid my bills, I played games, and even I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
a movie
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
my p. c. was connecting to the airplane
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
wifi
, thanks to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. When I was in California, it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy to me to manage my bank account and type any
Possible spelling mistake found.
documant
that I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
while I am faraway from my home.

Second, you will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
to connect to others. While you are abroad, you will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to talk to your family, friends, or your co-workers; and the best way is by doing chat on your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
.
For example
, when I was in college, In my country Iraq. I went in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
with my friends to Egypt, for two weeks. I talked with my mother in daily bases, while I was there, using program called skype on my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
.
Also
, I posted all the picture that we took in our trip
Unpaired symbol: ']' seems to be missing
[
on my
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
, and that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me connected to all my friends at the same time. As you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, I wouldn’t be able to talk to my mother and do long
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "chat"?
chats
with her without using my laptop.

In conclusion
, I believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things that we should take with us in a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
rather
than clothes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
thing is our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it contain all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
documents and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in daily bases.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
It seems that a verb is missing.
it
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to connect with others. That’s why we should all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the obvious benefits of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptops
and appreciate it existence.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay Imagine that you are preparing for a trip. You plan to be away from your home for a year. In addition to clothing and personal care items, you can take one additional thing. What would you take and why? Use specific reasons and details to support your cho v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
414 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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