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Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends? 1. joining a sports team 2. participating in community activities 3. traveling v.1

Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends? 1. joining a sports team 2. participating in community activities 3. traveling v. 1
Use of social media is ever growing nowadays. Many would argue that not only individuals, but also the society have been negatively impacted by these online social sites. I would disagree with the masses and state that social media websites have helped shape our modern society let alone has played an important role in individual’s life. This essay would discuss the positive impact, namely bringing people together and providing a platform to raise opinions, such sites have had on the community. Social sites like the Facebook, were developed with the core intention of connecting with people, of similar wavelengths, all around the world. Today, millions of people use such websites to share, communicate and express feelings with rest of the world which was impossible before the advent of social media. As per the report by the Ministry of Telecommunication, daily nearly 1000’s of people connect to Facebook and a hundreds’ of photos and videos are shared every second. Evidently, social media sites have enabled people to discuss, share and express ideas with the entire world. Before the rise of social media, print media and the NEWS channels were the only source of news for the masses. It was also very difficult to raise one’s opinion or be heard by everyone. After the onset of social website, every individual of the community now has the power to raise his opinion and take the centre stage. For example, nowadays many surveys are done online via the social media. Nevertheless, social networking sites have empowered the modern citizens to state their views and suggestions. To summarize, this essay has discussed the benefits of networking sites such as helping people to connect with each other and aiding people speak out their views and be heard by others. In my opinion, the reach these social networking sites provide, have benefited not only the individuals but also the civilization as a whole.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is ever growing nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
would argue that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the society have been
negatively
impacted by these online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
. I would disagree with the masses and state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
websites have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
shape our modern society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone has played an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
life. This essay would discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact,
namely
bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together and providing a platform to raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have had on the community.

Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
like the Facebook,
were developed
with the core intention of connecting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, of similar wavelengths, all around the world.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
such websites to share, communicate and express feelings with rest of the world which was impossible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. As per the report by the Ministry of Telecommunication, daily
nearly
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "1000s".
1000’s
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
connect to Facebook and
Possible agreement error. Consider using: "a hundred"
a hundreds
’ of photos and videos
are shared
every second.
Evidently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have enabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to discuss, share and express
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with the entire world.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
the rise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, print
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and the NEWS channels were the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
source of news for the masses. It was
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to raise one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
or
be heard
by everyone. After the onset of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
website, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
of the community
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
has the power to raise his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
and take the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
stage.
For example
, nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
surveys
are done
online via the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have empowered the modern citizens to state their views and suggestions.

To summarize
, this essay has discussed the benefits of networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
such as helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to connect with each other and aiding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
speak out their views and
be heard
by others. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
, the reach these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
provide, have benefited not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the civilization as a whole.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends? 1. joining a sports team 2. participating in community activities 3. traveling v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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