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Which do you think is the best way for students to make new friends? A. Joining a sports team; B. Participating in community activities. C. Traveling. v.1

Which do you think is the best way for students to make new friends? A. Joining a sports team; B. Participating in community activities. C. Traveling. v. 1
People have different views about the suitable time for children starting their normal education as early as possible or delay for a year. This essay will shed light on both benefits and drawbacks of this issue. Firstly, in the modern world, a number of parents wish to prepare their children with academic knowledge from an early so they can gain an advantage in highly competitive environments. In addition, children who receive full time schooling at 3 or 4 have 1 or 2 years of getting basic literacy before others. It’s researched that the language ability is greater at a younger than at an older one. So an increasing figure for parents would like their children to be exposed to new languages sooner. Early education has become mainstream in many countries. After a couple of months, those showing potential will be cared for by teachers with an aim to train them to become specialized students in the future. On the other hand, there would cause some drawbacks of going to school at an early age. The kids go to school when they are psychologically unready. So the children would develop the fear of learning. Education is associated with homework and regulations, creating excessive and unnecessary stress for little kids. In contrast, delaying a year is a good idea, children should be encouraged to learn and discover more about their life than tedious hours in the classroom. In conclusion, in my opinion, it would be good for their child that go to school at an early age to improve teamwork and communication skills.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about the suitable time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
starting their normal education as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
as possible or delay for a year. This essay will shed light on both benefits and drawbacks of this issue.

Firstly
, in the modern world, a number of parents wish to prepare their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with academic knowledge from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can gain an advantage in
highly
competitive environments.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who receive full time schooling at 3 or 4 have 1 or 2 years of getting basic literacy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
others. It’s researched that the language ability is greater at a younger than at an older one.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
an increasing figure for parents would like their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
be exposed
to new languages sooner.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Early
education has become mainstream in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. After a couple of months, those showing potential will
be cared
for by teachers with an aim to train them to become specialized students in the future.

On the other hand
, there would cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of going to school at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
age. The kids go to school when they are
psychologically
unready.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would develop the fear of learning. Education
is associated
with homework and regulations, creating excessive and unnecessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
kids.
In contrast
, delaying a year is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be encouraged
to learn and discover more about their life than tedious hours in the classroom.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their child that go to school at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
age to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
teamwork and communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Which do you think is the best way for students to make new friends? A. Joining a sports team; B. Participating in community activities. C. Traveling. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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