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Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends? 1. joining a sports team 2. participating in community activities 3. traveling v.3

Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends? 1. joining a sports team 2. participating in community activities 3. traveling v. 3
As a matter of fact, having a good friend is really important for every person. People prefer to have some friends in the same career as them, but there are many careers. In my view, each student has a sport career, so finding a friend in this category is really easy and pleasant, because both students have a mutual major and same interest and it is useful for their improvement as well. First and foremost, children can do exercise with each other. For example when I was in the karate class back in my home country Iran, I had a huge problem in practicing, because I had no friend in the gym. I found my problem really quick and I decided to solve it, so I started to have a communication with other people in the gym. Consequently, I finally found a wonderful friend who has many benefits for me. Second, undoubtedly, students can save money. As everybody knows, each sport career has some costs that which is shareable. Kids can know each other and try to trust others and decide to share some expenses in the gym. As an illustration, a guy who plays tennis have to rent a salon for at least one hour in a day. He can find a friend and share some equipment with her or him or switch the time with his friends in the emergency situations. Last but not least, it is so fun. Having a partner in school is interesting, but finding a friend in the same major in sports are surprisingly fun. Students will have mutual interest in their free time activities, so they do not need to be dependent on their family to play a game or having some leisure time. For instance, I had many friend in different places, but I really like those sport partners, because we are so energetic with each other and we always can make each other happy. To sum up, although people have different preferences, the best way to find friends and enjoy of the rest of the life is finding friend in sport teams.
As a matter of fact, having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for every person.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
prefer to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
as them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
. In my view, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
in this category is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
easy and pleasant,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have a mutual major and same interest and it is useful for their improvement
as well
.

First
and foremost, children can do exercise with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
For example
when I was in the karate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
back in my home country Iran, I had a huge problem in practicing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I had no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
in the gym. I found my problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
quick and I decided to solve it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to have a communication with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the gym.
Consequently
, I
finally
found a wonderful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
who has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for me.

Second,
undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can save money. As everybody knows, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
costs that which is shareable. Kids can know each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and try to trust others and decide to share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
expenses in the gym. As an illustration, a guy who plays tennis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
rent a salon for at least one hour in a day. He can find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
and share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
equipment with her or him or switch the time with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
in the emergency situations.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
fun. Having a partner in school is interesting,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
in the same major in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
surprisingly
fun.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
will have mutual interest in their free time activities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not need to be dependent on their family to play a game or having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
leisure time.
For instance
, I had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
like those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
partners,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
energetic with each
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
other and
we always can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
happy.

To sum up, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
preferences, the best way to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and enjoy of the rest of the life is finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
teams.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends? 1. joining a sports team 2. participating in community activities 3. traveling v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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