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Which type of music do you enjoy the most? Explain why you enjoy this type of music. Include reasons and details in your explanation. v.1

Which type of music do you enjoy the most? Explain why you enjoy this type of music. Include reasons and details in your explanation. v. 1
Museums are a reflection of our cultural heritage. Some of them are free while others do have some admission charges. Although there are some drawbacks, from my point of view, I think imposing entry fee is advantageous for both society and government. Admittedly, there are some disadvantages of charging people. Firstly, due to this, the gallery becomes inaccessible for the lower income groups of society. This will hinder them and their children to gain some amazing knowledge and experiences. Secondly, it is the right of every citizen to know about their past, for example, the prevailed traditions and currencies. Restricting them will surely have some negative impacts. Nevertheless, despite the drawbacks above, I believe that free access to museum is not worthy. In modern society, people only respect for what they pay. As a matter of fact, the collected money can be used for the cleaning and other maintenance work in the museum as it is mandatory to preserve the sculptures and other items present there. For instance, metal coins like that of iron and copper need frequent polishing to prevent them from corrosion. Thus, to secure our heritage, the idea of imposing fees seems irrefutable necessary. Moreover, this money can be used by the government to tackle more pressing issues like that of health and education to promote social harmony. In conclusion, giving a small contribution for the preservation of our historical evidences for outweigh any of the flaws. This will surely aid the concerned museum management authorities to maintain this symbol of national pride.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
are a reflection of our cultural heritage.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them are free while others do have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
admission charges. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks, from my point of view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
imposing entry fee is advantageous for both society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Admittedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of charging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Firstly
, due to this, the gallery becomes inaccessible for the lower income groups of society. This will hinder them and their children to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amazing knowledge and experiences.
Secondly
, it is the right of every citizen to know about their past,
for example
, the prevailed traditions and currencies. Restricting them will
surely
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts.

Nevertheless
, despite the drawbacks above, I believe that free access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is not worthy. In modern society,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
respect for what they pay. As a matter of fact, the collected money can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the cleaning and other maintenance work in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
as it is mandatory to preserve the sculptures and other items present there.
For instance
, metal coins like that of iron and copper need frequent polishing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from corrosion.
Thus
, to secure our heritage, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of imposing fees seems irrefutable necessary.
Moreover
, this money can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to tackle more pressing issues like that of health and education to promote social harmony.

In conclusion
, giving a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
contribution for the preservation of our historical evidences for outweigh any of the flaws. This will
surely
aid the concerned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
management authorities to maintain this symbol of national pride.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Which type of music do you enjoy the most? Explain why you enjoy this type of music. Include reasons and details in your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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