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Which type of music do you enjoy the most? Explain why you enjoy this type of music. Include reasons and details in your explanation. v.1

Which type of music do you enjoy the most? Explain why you enjoy this type of music. Include reasons and details in your explanation. v. 1
Museums are a reflection of our cultural heritage. Some of them are free while others do have some admission charges. Although there are some drawbacks, from my point of view, I think imposing entry fee is advantageous for both society and government. Admittedly, there are some disadvantages of charging people. Firstly, due to this, the gallery becomes inaccessible for the lower income groups of society. This will hinder them and their children to gain some amazing knowledge and experiences. Secondly, it is the right of every citizen to know about their past, for example, the prevailed traditions and currencies. Restricting them will surely have some negative impacts. Nevertheless, despite the drawbacks above, I believe that free access to museum is not worthy. In modern society, people only respect for what they pay. As a matter of fact, the collected money can be used for the cleaning and other maintenance work in the museum as it is mandatory to preserve the sculptures and other items present there. For instance, metal coins like that of iron and copper need frequent polishing to prevent them from corrosion. Thus, to secure our heritage, the idea of imposing fees seems irrefutable necessary. Moreover, this money can be used by the government to tackle more pressing issues like that of health and education to promote social harmony. In conclusion, giving a small contribution for the preservation of our historical evidences for outweigh any of the flaws. This will surely aid the concerned museum management authorities to maintain this symbol of national pride.
Museums
are a reflection of our cultural heritage.
Some
of them are free while others do have
some
admission charges. Although there are
some
drawbacks, from my point of view, I
think
imposing entry fee is advantageous for both society and
government
.

Admittedly
, there are
some
disadvantages of charging
people
.
Firstly
, due to this, the gallery becomes inaccessible for the lower income groups of society. This will hinder them and their children to gain
some
amazing knowledge and experiences.
Secondly
, it is the right of every citizen to know about their past,
for example
, the prevailed traditions and currencies. Restricting them will
surely
have
some
negative
impacts.

Nevertheless
, despite the drawbacks above, I believe that free access to
museum
is not worthy. In modern society,
people
only
respect for what they pay. As a matter of fact, the collected money can be
used
for the cleaning and other maintenance work in the
museum
as it is mandatory to preserve the sculptures and other items present there.
For instance
, metal coins like that of iron and copper need frequent polishing to
prevent
them from corrosion.
Thus
, to secure our heritage, the
idea
of imposing fees seems irrefutable necessary.
Moreover
, this money can be
used
by the
government
to tackle more pressing issues like that of health and education to promote social harmony.

In conclusion
, giving a
small
contribution for the preservation of our historical evidences for outweigh any of the flaws. This will
surely
aid the concerned
museum
management authorities to maintain this symbol of national pride.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Which type of music do you enjoy the most? Explain why you enjoy this type of music. Include reasons and details in your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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