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Talk about your favorite type of music, explain why you enjoy listening to this type of music in details. v.1

Talk about your favorite type of music, explain why you enjoy listening to this type of music in details. v. 1
Taking a gap year for school leavers are recommended by some countries. There are certain merits and demerits of taking a year off, which will be discussed in this essay. Considering the advantages a gap year provides, after continuously following studies for several years, it is better to take a break and start the university education with a fresh mind. Most students get fed up with the work load during the school time due to this reason some decide not to seek for higher education. For those students best option is to take a year to travel or work to change their mind regarding the further education. Moreover, both travelling and doing work would add some valuable experiences for youngster lives. For example, when they involve with these activities they get to meet new people and be on their own in the society. These skills are significant for the future success of these adolescents. On the flip side, taking a time off form education may negatively affect the performance of students. When students are studying continuously their mental capacity increases. However, during a break most youngsters do use their mind as much when they learn. As a result; higher education could become quite difficult for some of those students. Moreover, competition for employment opportunities becoming fierce everyday. Therefore, in order to secure a better job students should finish their studies as soon as they could. To recapitulate, travelling or working between high school and university has advantages such as learning social skills. Yet, it also has certain downsides to it like forgetting previous subject matters and loosing a some valuable time which needed for future endures.
Taking a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
are recommended
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries. There are certain merits and demerits of taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off, which will
be discussed
in this essay.

Considering the advantages a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
provides, after
continuously
following studies for several years, it is better to take a break and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
with a fresh mind. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fed up with the work load during the school time due to this reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
decide not to seek for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. For those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
best option is to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
to travel or work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their mind regarding the
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Moreover
, both travelling and doing work would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valuable experiences for youngster
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
, when they involve with these activities they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and be on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
in the society. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are significant for the future success of these adolescents.

On the flip side, taking a time off form
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
may
negatively
affect the performance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are studying
continuously
their mental capacity increases.
However
, during a break most youngsters do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their mind as much when they learn.
As a result
; higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
could become quite difficult for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Moreover
, competition for employment opportunities becoming fierce
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.
Therefore
, in order to secure a better job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should finish their studies as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they could.

To recapitulate, travelling or working between high school and university has advantages such as learning social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Yet
, it
also
has certain downsides to it like forgetting previous subject matters and loosing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valuable time which needed for future endures.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Talk about your favorite type of music, explain why you enjoy listening to this type of music in details. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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