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What type of animal would you like to have, either as a pet or for some other reason? Choose an animal and explain why you would like to own this type of animal. Include details and examples in your explanation. v.1

What type of animal would you like to have, either as a pet or for some other reason? Choose an animal and explain why you would like to own this type of animal. Include details and examples in your explanation. v. 1
In the recent times there are various global concerns across the world. However, some people believe the increase in the number of vehicles is the most major concern in comparison with various other problems such as globalisation, health problems, population etc. In my essay, I will share both views. Moreover, one of the main reasons which has lead to an increase in the vehicles on the road, is due to the rise in the population. As the population in the city is growing number of vehicles is increasing. The vehicles emit a lot of smoke in the air, which leads in causing various health problems among the people. Although, the population is a major concern. One of the more serious concerns is global warming with is affecting the world to a greater extend. The main causes of global warming are not only the population caused by vehicles, but also the emission of poisonous and harmful gases from factories. In addition, we keep cutting trees in order to build more houses and offices, with otherwise help in absorbing the carbon dioxide released. In my view, it is important that we reduce the use of the vehicle on the roads, but also work towards reducing the effect of the global warming. Small measures such as planting a tree or sharing a vehicle to work can help in reducing the effect and help build a better place to live in. The government in the recent times has also started taking measures to reduce the same. In conclusion, though, I agree that the increase in the number of vehicles is a concern. However, there are more major concerns that need to be resolved.
In the recent times there are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerns
across the world.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe the increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
is the most major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concern
in comparison
with various other problems such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, health problems,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
etc. In my essay, I will share both views.

Moreover
, one of the main reasons which has lead to an increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
on the road, is due to the rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in the city is growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
is increasing. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
emit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
smoke in the air, which leads in causing various health problems among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concern
. One of the more serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerns
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming with is affecting the world to a greater
Did you mean the noun "extent"?
extend
. The main causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the emission of poisonous and harmful gases from factories.
In addition
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
cutting trees in order to build more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and offices, with
otherwise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in absorbing the carbon dioxide released.

In my view, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
on the roads,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
work towards reducing the effect of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Small
measures such as planting a tree or sharing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
to work can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reducing the effect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
build a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in the recent times has
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
taking measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the same.

In conclusion
, though, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concern
.
However
, there are more major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerns
that need to
be resolved
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay What type of animal would you like to have, either as a pet or for some other reason? Choose an animal and explain why you would like to own this type of animal. Include details and examples in your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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