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Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the last past thirty years that many cities in the world are now on big traffic jam. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can government take to discourage people from using their cars. v.2

At a moment, many citizens around the world are using cars to travel from one place to another. As a result traffic-jams around the globe are taking place. This has happened because of more people are doing jobs in their area. But to reduce the usage of cars government can manage themself to organize different Ted talks or public talks which could eventually, solve the problem. Indeed, As according to the time increasing number of people are are owning there personal cars to travel to there destinations. This is happening because of high employment opportunities that are offered to citizens. however, roads are being jam-packed due to more traffic which is occurring on the roads each and everyday. so, to prove the above statement recently, it was demonstrated in a YouTube video which statically shown that From the year, 2010 to 2018 there was a sudden spike of cars which were sold to general people. Although, government can take various steps to demotivate people to stop the usage of cars. As from many steps there is one important measure that can have a huge effect on cars industries, which will only happen by organising free seminars by companies among individuals. government officials can give lot of reasons to discourage the citizens. As it was mentioned in an article, there was a data which told that in the USA in the year 2012, people were using motorbikes too much due to which the law department of usa organized many seminars to give a brief information about the usage of personal motorcycles. After which the overall result was helpful. In conclusion, it can be said that people have variety of reasons to use their own vehicle which always results in traffic- jams. However, government should implement new policies or they should take any possible measure which can help in reduction of vehicles.
At a moment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
citizens around the world are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to travel from one place to another.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result traffic-jams around the globe are taking place. This has happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are doing jobs in their area.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can manage
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
to organize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Ted talks or public talks which could
eventually
, solve the problem.

Indeed
, As according to the time increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
The verb ‘own’ can be stative. If ‘owning’ describes a state, change the sentence structure and use the base form of the verb.
are owning
there personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to travel to
Did you mean “their”?
there
destinations. This is happening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of high employment opportunities that
are offered
to citizens.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
however
, roads are being jam-packed due to more traffic which is occurring on the roads each and
‘Everyday’ is an adjective. Did you mean “every day”?
everyday
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
so
, to prove the above statement recently, it
was demonstrated
in a YouTube video which
statically
shown that

From the year, 2010 to 2018 there was a sudden spike of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
which
were sold
to general
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can take various steps to demotivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. As from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
steps there is one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
measure that can have a huge effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
industries, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
happen by
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organising’ is British English.
organising
free seminars by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
among individuals.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
government
officials can give
It seems that an article is missing. Did you mean “the lot of” or “a lot of”?
lot of
reasons to discourage the citizens. As it
was mentioned
in an article, there was a data which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that in the USA in the year 2012,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were using motorbikes too much due to which the law department of
Possible spelling mistake found.
usa
organized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
seminars to give a brief information about the usage of personal motorcycles.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
which the
overall
result was helpful.

In conclusion
, it can
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
It seems that an article is missing. Did you mean “the variety of” or “a variety of”?
variety of
reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicle which always results in traffic- jams.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should implement new
Use a comma before ‘or’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
policies or
they should take any possible measure which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reduction of vehicles.
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Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can government take to discourage people from using their cars?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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