Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Which technology, in your opinion, has had the greatest impact on our lives? Use examples and reasons to support your argument. 1)smartphones2)television3)cars v.2

Which technology, in your opinion, has had the greatest impact on our lives? Use examples and reasons to support your argument. 1)smartphones2)television3)cars v. 2
In the contemporary world, people are highly influenced by technology in routine life because it makes their work easy. So there is no shortage of opinion whether technology such as; android mobiles, television and automobiles impact on the society. If I were asked, I definitely chose smart phones are influence a lot of young adults among the other two technologies. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. To begin with, mobile phones are less expansive and everybody can afford. In the current emerging trend, we can buy a mobile phone for less than hundred dollars and it is not possible to purchase television or a car with in that budget. My friend Alex is a good example to illustrate this. When we were studying high school at Omak public school, he brought brand new I phone with his pocket money. What more, he completely adducted to his phone I feel this is only happened because of less cost. In addition, young people are easily addicted to the smart phone compare to other technology because they can be used for numerous purposes like playing video games, communication, and internet access for watching videos. Smart phones could influence both positively and negatively. The good impacts are they can be used it communicate with our beloved once. On the other hand, mobiles also negatively attract students like browsing restricted websites and wasting plenty of time on watching unnecessary videos. For example, when I was working as a professor at university, once of my students used play online games rather concentrating on the class, as a result, he got least grades. In conclusion, although some people disagree with my opinion, I feel that Mobil phones are highly influenced on people compare other technology because it is cheap and it had a plenty of information. If the people don’t have enough money, they couldn’t spend money to buy television or car because they are expensive.
In the contemporary world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
highly
influenced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in routine life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their work easy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there is no shortage of opinion whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
such as; android mobiles, television and automobiles impact on the society. If I
were asked
, I definitely chose smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are influence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
young adults among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are less expansive and everybody can afford. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
emerging trend, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
for less than
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
dollars and it is not possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
television or a car with in that budget. My friend Alex is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example to illustrate this. When we were studying high school at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Omak
public school, he brought brand new I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
with his pocket money. What more, he completely
Possible spelling mistake found.
adducted
to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
I feel this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of less cost.

In addition
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
easily
addicted to the smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for numerous purposes like playing video games, communication, and internet access for watching videos. Smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
could influence both
positively
and
negatively
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impacts are they can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
it communicate with our beloved once. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, mobiles
also
negatively
attract students like browsing restricted websites and wasting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of time on watching unnecessary videos.
For example
, when I was working as a professor at university, once of my students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
play online games
rather
concentrating on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
,
as a result
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
grades.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree with my opinion, I feel that Mobil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are
highly
influenced on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
compare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and it had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of information. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money, they couldn’t spend money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
television or car
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are expensive.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Which technology, in your opinion, has had the greatest impact on our lives? Use examples and reasons to support your argument. 1)smartphones2)television3)cars v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts