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Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing v.4

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing v. 4
Sports have always been part of national identity and moments which put together more countries in a competition have had an enormous influence on people’s relations. I disagree the idea that such events can reduce global tension and I strongly believe that these are a good occasion for most of the inhabitants of a country to be and feel unified. International sport competitions are a good opportunity for some countries to become popular and to make those who live there to feel proud and happy. This is not available in competitions such as football World Cup. Usually, some of the supporters, if their favorite team had lost an important game, use to express their dissatisfaction by attacking the sustainers of the other team. Consequently, this attitude sometimes can take to an increased tension between galleries, but countries are not so much affected. However, although few sports competitions can end up with violence, there are still a lot of peaceful sports, which involve expressing negative feelings. Take, for example, gymnastics or tennis. Here, can’t be told that people will cooperate with those which form the gallery of the opposite country but, at least, negative feedback is not gave. Moreover, people are interested only in the success of their team. In conclusion, supporting a country in an international sporting competition combines the desire of succeed of a nation, but not the wishes of everyone. As a result, this is a good opportunity to unify a country but not some different ones. Sometimes the consequences of a failure can have a temporary negative impact on people’s actions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
have always been part of national identity and moments which put together more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
have had an enormous influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
relations. I disagree the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
global tension and I
strongly
believe that these are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
occasion for most of the inhabitants of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to be and feel unified.

International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to become popular and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there to feel proud and happy. This is not available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
such as football World Cup.
Usually
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
supporters, if their favorite team had lost an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
game,
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
express their dissatisfaction by attacking the
Possible spelling mistake found.
sustainers
of the other team.
Consequently
, this attitude
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
can take to an increased tension between galleries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.

However
, although few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with violence, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
peaceful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, which involve expressing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
feelings. Take,
for example
, gymnastics or tennis. Here, can’t be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will cooperate with those which form the gallery of the opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, at least,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
feedback is not
Consider using a past participle here: "given".
gave
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interested
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the success of their team.

In conclusion
, supporting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in an international sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
combines the desire of succeed of a nation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the wishes of everyone.
As a result
, this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity to unify a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ones.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
the consequences of a failure can have a temporary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
actions.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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