Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Which technology, in your opinion, has had the greatest impact on our lives? Use examples and reasons to support your argument. 1)smartphones2)television3)cars v.1

Which technology, in your opinion, has had the greatest impact on our lives? Use examples and reasons to support your argument. 1)smartphones2)television3)cars v. 1
There is no doubt that, the trend of technological innovation is rising exponentially. In that process, all the Multinational Companies are striving to introduce machines that can be in our day to day activities thereby decreasing human efforts while performing them. In my opinion, I think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages and they are discussed as follows. Starting with the disadvantages, it is obvious that introducing machines into household activities might make them lethargic. This is because, if most of the everyday necessities are taken by machines, then there cannot be much work left for people to do thereby decreasing their metabolism. For example, take the case of washing clothes, previously people used to spend hours cleaning their outfits and drying them but now it can be done with ease. As a result, people have been getting languid by sitting for hours in front of their televisions. These might lead to severe problems like obesity due to less metabolic activities. On the other hand, the advantages are more as there is ample amount of leisure term that people can make use of. As much of household work is taken care by the machines, they could use the term for their career or their interests. For example, due to the machines people can invest their term in more creative work like painting, singing etc. , Which could eventually be much more useful and could be more useful to the society too. Humans could be bogged down doing the routine things daily, so it is better to use the machines. As human brains are designed to be innovative and not doing the same old things again and again. In conclusion, much of the household activity should be taken care by the machines, thereby creating an ample amount of moment for the humans to reach their career goals, or being more productive to the nation with their creations.
There is no doubt that, the trend of technological innovation is rising
exponentially
. In that process, all the Multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
are striving to introduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
that can be in our
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
activities thereby decreasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
efforts while performing them. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the advantages outweigh the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
disadvantages and
they
are discussed
as follows.

Starting with the disadvantages, it is obvious that introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
into household activities might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them lethargic. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, if most of the everyday necessities
are taken
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
, then there cannot be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do thereby decreasing their metabolism.
For example
, take the case of washing clothes, previously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to spend hours cleaning their outfits and drying them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it can
be done
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been getting languid by sitting for hours in front of their televisions. These might lead to severe problems like obesity due to less metabolic activities.

On the other hand
, the advantages are more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
there is ample amount of leisure term that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
of household work
is taken
care by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the term for their career or their interests.
For example
, due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can invest their term in more creative work like painting, singing etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
Which could
eventually
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more useful and could be more useful to the society too.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Humans
could
be bogged
down doing the routine things daily,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
brains
are designed
to be innovative and not doing the same
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
things again and again.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
of the household activity should
be taken
care by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
, thereby creating an ample amount of moment for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to reach their career goals, or being more productive to the nation with their creations.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Which technology, in your opinion, has had the greatest impact on our lives? Use examples and reasons to support your argument. 1)smartphones2)television3)cars v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts