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1. Many people believe that Politicians have the greatest influence on the world. Other people think that Scientists make the greatest contribution to the world. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. v.1

1. Many people believe that Politicians have the greatest influence on the world. Other people think that Scientists make the greatest contribution to the world. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. v. 1
It is an irrefutable fact that to construct a developing territory in the world needs numerous leaders such as politicians, scientists, and so on. Some individuals are of the opinion that politicians deliver a positive influence. Conversely, other folks believe that scientists have the greatest contribution to the world. In this essay, I will clinch the scientists give more profit rather than the politicians according to me. Let us understand the reason why the scientists are contributing great works. Firstly, the primary convenient fact is inventing antibiotics. By using antibiotics, the people treat diseases for keeping fit and healthy. Besides, educational improvement is one more valuable matter which cannot be disregarded as well. To build a social connection people need to learn many necessary things, and education helps them to gain knowledge and information. Apart from this, creating modern technology is another precious point. For example, Sir Alexander Flamming invented penicillin that cures a lot of diseases. On the flip of the coin, the politicians are also playing a vital role in developing a country because they give directions on how a country should move forward. Moreover, sometimes they can be involved with corruption for their benefit. However, I believe that the scientists perform not only creating modern elements, but also developing old technologies. For instance, Boss Tweed, who Robbed about 100 billion dollars from the government of the USA. To conclude, it is a reality that the scientists influenced the world more than the politicians. Therefore, the folks are obtaining benefits such as, medicines, education, computer innovation. Hence, in my viewpoint, scientists are changing our lifestyles within technology.
It is an irrefutable fact that to construct a developing territory in the world needs numerous leaders such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
deliver a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence.
Conversely
, other folks believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
have the greatest contribution to the world. In this essay, I will clinch the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
give more profit
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
according to me.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us understand the reason why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
are contributing great works.
Firstly
, the primary convenient fact is inventing antibiotics. By using antibiotics, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
treat diseases for keeping fit and healthy.
Besides
, educational improvement is one more valuable matter which cannot
be disregarded
as well
. To build a social connection
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
necessary things, and education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to gain knowledge and information. Apart from this, creating modern technology is another precious point.
For example
, Sir Alexander
Possible spelling mistake found.
Flamming
invented penicillin that cures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
diseases.

On the flip of the coin, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
are
also
playing a vital role in developing a country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they give directions on how a country should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they can
be involved
with corruption for their benefit.
However
, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
perform not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
creating modern elements,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
developing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
technologies.
For instance
, Boss Tweed, who Robbed about 100 billion dollars from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of the USA.

To conclude
, it is a reality that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
influenced the world more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
.
Therefore
, the folks are obtaining benefits such as, medicines, education, computer innovation.
Hence
, in my viewpoint,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
are changing our lifestyles within technology.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay 1. Many people believe that Politicians have the greatest influence on the world. Other people think that Scientists make the greatest contribution to the world. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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