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which one do you prefer? high-school students should take different subjects at the same time or they should focus on three or four subjects at the time. v.4

which one do you prefer? high-school students should take different subjects at the same time or they should focus on three or four subjects at the time. v. 4
The question is whether high-school students should take different subjects at the same time or they should focus on three or four subjects at the time. Everyone with regard to his private view point may maintain a specific direction toward this statement. Some believe that a variety type of matters increase the student' s basic information and it is a kind of insurance for their future while others have a conviction that large number of divers classes will cause students to find stress or anxiety and then their performance may reduce. I am unanimous with the first group, so the next paragraphs will vastly elucidate my vantage point through three salient reasons: To begin with, nobody could overlook this fact that high-schools play a crucial role in students' future. Needless to say in this level, the youths are preparing to choose their main field for studying in the university; hence, having strong knowledge base is indispensable for them. Learning different types of issues such as biology, sociology, mathematics, history, economic and literature and so on, assists the young to broaden their public understand and also they will take advantage of their teachers' experiences. If you have more experiences, you would be sure about your job opportunities in later years. In addition, as I said mentioned above, since the high-school is a sensitive period in the youths' life; therefore, setting them in hard situation may be advantageous. Confronting plentiful of challenges lead the young students to manage their time. In such a heavy circumstance, a student attempts to do their all assignments in the right time. For achieving this goal, a person should have an appropriate plan. One should notice that acting through a schedule changes the student' s personality to a disciplined person with high confidence, so he never wastes his time. Moreover, when the young humans participate in numerous classes, there is an opportunity for them to get familiar with different types of teachers who require diverse study habits. One may ask students to write a research paper instead of taking exam and another would use question-answer approach in the classrooms. All of these cases cause the young people not to find lethargy and pursue their purposes ceaselessly. To sum up, this conclusion could be drawn that I strongly recommend the young to take several subject matters at the same time because in the mentioned position, students will improve concentration and gain worthwhile experiences for their job after graduation. Besides, the young students would be leader of their own life.
The question is whether high-school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects at the same
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time or
they should focus on three or four subjects at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Everyone with regard to his private view point may maintain a specific direction toward this statement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that a variety type of matters increase the
Possible spelling mistake found.
student&
#039; s basic information and it is a kind of insurance for their future while others have a conviction that large number of divers classes will cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to find
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
or anxiety and then their performance may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
. I am unanimous with the
first
group,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
next
paragraphs will
vastly
elucidate my vantage point through three salient reasons:

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, nobody could overlook this fact that high-schools play a crucial role in
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; future. Needless to say in this level, the youths are preparing to choose their main field for studying in the university;
hence
, having strong knowledge base is indispensable for them. Learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of issues such as biology, sociology, mathematics, history, economic and literature and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, assists the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
to broaden their public understand and
also
they will take advantage of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
teachers&
#039; experiences. If you have more experiences, you would be sure about your job opportunities in later years.

In addition
, as I said mentioned above, since the high-school is a sensitive period in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
youths&
#039; life;
therefore
, setting them in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
situation may be advantageous. Confronting plentiful of challenges lead the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In such a heavy circumstance, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
attempts to do their all assignments in the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. For achieving this goal, a person should have an appropriate plan. One should notice that acting through a schedule
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
student&
#039; s personality to a disciplined person with high confidence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he never wastes his time.

Moreover
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
humans participate in numerous classes, there is an opportunity for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of teachers who require diverse study habits. One may ask
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to write a research paper
instead
of taking exam and another would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
question-answer approach in the classrooms. All of these cases cause the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not to find lethargy and pursue their purposes
ceaselessly
.

To sum up, this conclusion could
be drawn
that I
strongly
recommend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
to take several subject matters at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in the mentioned position,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
concentration and gain worthwhile experiences for their job after graduation.
Besides
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would be leader of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay which one do you prefer? high-school students should take different subjects at the same time or they should focus on three or four subjects at the time. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
421 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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