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Most of the environmental issues are too complex today. Individuals can do nothing about them. v.2

Most of the environmental issues are too complex today. Individuals can do nothing about them. v. 2
There is no denying the fact that nowadays environmental issues have been increasingly serious. In spite of that, one thing is certain. Most of these issues are caused by human being. In other words, if we could be aware of our unwise behaviors and do our best to correct them, the world will be a better place. Thus, in my opinion, individuals are fully capable to improve the environment. First of all, desertification in most areas results primarily from human activities rather than natural process. Expanding populations are subjecting the land to the increasing pressure to provide them with food. To achieve this goal, overcultivation appears. As you see, the raising of crops necessitates the prior removal of natural vegetation. With the population density growing, the cultivation of corps has expanded increasingly to drier places. As a result, wetland in semiarid places and natural vegetation are gradually disappearing. Then, species who have long adapted to those environments are losing their home, which endanger their life. If we indulge ourselves in overcultivation, the next specie to extinct will be our human being. However, if we could take the step to control overcultivation, our environment will be improved soon. For instance, governments could set law to prohibit such action, and school could add environmental science program to educate children from an early age. I believe with such awareness increased, desertification will be reduced to a lower degree. Secondly, due to the firewood gathering, forests have been disappearing at an incredible rate. As you see, human' s need for fuel has never been met. We dig out the earth to find fossil fuel and absorb the sun light to get solar fuel. However, the most cost-saving and convenient way is burning the firewood. People chop thousands tons trees every day and burn it without post proceeding. Consequently, lots of CO2 have been released into the atmosphere. What makes matter even worst is that due to the deforestation, there is nothing as functional as trees in absorbing the CO2. That' s how global warming takes place. In other words, we bring this on ourselves. But just imagine what if we stop cutting the trees. Such situation could be ameliorated, couldn' t it? To draw a conclusion, since most of the environmental problems are caused by ourselves, we are fully capable to solve these problems if we stop our improper behaviors. If we stop cutting trees, the forest won' t disappear and global warming won' t happen. Also, if we prohibit overcultivation, dessert won' t be expanded and the habitat for those rare animals won' t be reduced. Therefore, I strongly believe that individuals have ability to turn this situation around.
There is no denying the fact that nowadays environmental issues have been
increasingly
serious.
In spite of
that, one thing is certain. Most of these issues
are caused
by
human
being.
In other words
, if we could be aware of our unwise behaviors and do our best to correct them, the world will be a better
place
.
Thus
, in my opinion, individuals are
fully
capable to
improve
the environment.

First of all
, desertification in most areas results
primarily
from
human
activities
rather
than natural process. Expanding populations are subjecting the land to the increasing pressure to provide them with food. To achieve this goal,
overcultivation
appears. As you
see
, the raising of crops necessitates the prior removal of natural vegetation. With the population density growing, the cultivation of corps has expanded
increasingly
to drier
places
.
As a result
, wetland in semiarid
places
and natural vegetation are
gradually
disappearing. Then, species who have long adapted to those environments are losing their home, which endanger their life. If we indulge ourselves in
overcultivation
, the
next
specie to extinct will be our
human
being.
However
, if we could take the step to control
overcultivation
, our environment will be
improved
soon
.
For instance
,
governments
could set law to prohibit such action, and school could
add
environmental science program to educate children from an early age. I believe with such awareness increased, desertification will be
reduced
to a lower degree.

Secondly
, due to the firewood gathering, forests have been disappearing at an incredible rate. As you
see
,
human&
#039; s need for fuel has never
been met
. We dig out the earth to find fossil fuel and absorb the sun light to
get
solar fuel.
However
, the most cost-saving and convenient way is burning the firewood.
People
chop thousands tons
trees
every day and burn it without post proceeding.
Consequently
, lots of CO2 have
been released
into the atmosphere. What
makes
matter even worst is that due to the deforestation, there is nothing as functional as
trees
in absorbing the CO2.
That&
#039; s how global warming takes
place
.
In other words
, we bring this on ourselves.
But
just
imagine what if we
stop
cutting the
trees
. Such situation could
be ameliorated
,
couldn&
#039; t it?

To draw a conclusion, since most of the environmental problems
are caused
by ourselves, we are
fully
capable to solve these problems if we
stop
our improper behaviors. If we
stop
cutting
trees
, the forest
won&
#039; t disappear and global warming
won&
#039; t happen.
Also
, if we prohibit
overcultivation
, dessert
won&
#039; t
be expanded
and the habitat for those rare animals
won&
#039; t be
reduced
.
Therefore
, I
strongly
believe that individuals have ability to turn this situation around.
21Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay Most of the environmental issues are too complex today. Individuals can do nothing about them. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
446 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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