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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The government should support artists rather than allow them to support themselves. v.424

The government should support artists rather than allow them to support themselves. v. 424
It' s a common impression among people that most artists live a difficult life. They' ve given tremendous time and efforts just in order to compose a masterpiece. However, not so many people are able to appreciate ttheir work, and even few people could afford and willing to buy them. Owing to this fact, I would like to agree that the government should support artists. I would like to address several reasons to substantiate my view. As I mentioned above, artists always devote themselves into their works. However, they recieve much less realistic feedbacks compared to what they' ve sacrificed. My art teacher in elementary school used to be an painter. He often thought really hard, like brain-storming, and spent a lot of time in composing a picture. As a result, his work was really inspiring and extraordinary. Yet it seemed like nobody was able to appreciate his work. As he could only made ends meet, he eventually gave up the life as an painter and turned to teach children art. If government was able to suppport them, perhaps things won' t go out in that way and we were still able to see his new, beautiful work now. Some people may claim that there is no reason for government to spend money on protecting artists because artists are not really a necessary job in the society. Nevertheless, I have to argue that art is so important and it often affects us in a invisible way. Art is a part of our education. We teach children to compose or appreciate art works because we now live in a advanced society where there are still something people persue beyond food and security. The existence of artists can let us view the world with a artistic value. A company can atcually benefit from artists too. For example, a furniture company can sell products that is both well functional and elegant in looking. The latter trait would rely a lot on a artist. And as our society is able to appreciate art, this product would sell well. To conclude, artists are indespensible to the society and their contribution are huge although people often neglect it. Owing to these facts, government should take some measures to support the artists in order to let their society thrive.
Possible spelling mistake found.
It&
#039; s a common impression among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a difficult life.
Possible spelling mistake found.
They&
#039; ve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
tremendous time and efforts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
in order to compose a masterpiece.
However
, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appreciate
Possible spelling mistake found.
ttheir
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, and even few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could afford and willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them. Owing to this fact, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
. I would like to address several reasons to substantiate my view.

As I mentioned above,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
always devote themselves into their works.
However
, they
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieve
much less realistic feedbacks compared to what
Possible spelling mistake found.
they&
#039; ve sacrificed. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
teacher in elementary school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
painter. He
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, like brain-storming, and spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time in composing a picture.
As a result
, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
was
really
inspiring and extraordinary.
Yet
it seemed like nobody was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appreciate
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. As he could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
made ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
, he
eventually
gave up the life as
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
painter and turned to teach children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
suppport
them, perhaps things
Possible spelling mistake found.
won&
#039; t go out in that
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
way and
we were
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
his new,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may claim that there is no reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to spend money on protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
are not
really
a necessary job in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Nevertheless
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
affects us
Consider replacing "in a invisible way" with the adverb for "invisible"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a invisible way
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is a part of our education. We teach children to compose or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
works
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
where there are
still
something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
persue
beyond food and security.

The existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us view the world with
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
artistic value. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
can
Possible spelling mistake found.
atcually
benefit from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
too.
For example
, a furniture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
can sell products
that is
both well functional and elegant in looking. The latter trait would rely a lot on
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
. And as our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, this product would sell well.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
indespensible
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and their contribution are huge although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
neglect it. Owing to these facts,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures to support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
thrive.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Mistakes

IELTS essay The government should support artists rather than allow them to support themselves. v. 424

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
382 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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