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Which of the following qualities do you think is most important for a university student to be successful? ●Highly motivated●Hard working●IntelligentChoose one of these qualities and explain why it is important. v.1

Which of the following qualities do you think is most important for a university student to be successful? ●Highly motivated●Hard working●IntelligentChoose one of these qualities and explain why it is important. v. 1
Some would argue that one of the most effective ways for companies in advertising themselves is by sponsoring sports club, while others disagree and think that it is not beneficial. Apart from discussing both sides of the argument, this essay will also discuss why becoming a sponsor of sports, especially the popular one, is advantageous for the companies. On the one hand, it is often thought that if companies allocate some of their marketing budgets to sponsor well-known sports clubs, they would benefit from having a high reputation, not only within their own country but also worldwide. This method has been used, especially for major businesses, in promoting themselves into the international market to attract more potential customers, as well as to expand their business globally. This can be seen by the growing number of companies, such as Herbalife and Samsung, where their names often appear during the Football World Cup Championship. Therefore, this way is always preferred as the marketing tool for businesses. On the other hand, many people are against this method of advertising as it has some potential risks for the companies. As we may be aware, the cost of sponsoring such popular sports players can be prohibitive, and as a result, some companies would have to deal with financial issues. This is exemplified by 50% of the companies in London, where they have discontinued to become the sponsor of the local sports-related clubs due to its high-cost. However, this idea should not be a stopper if the companies want to be marketed and recognized in the global market. Overall, despite some possible risks that the company may face by funding certain sports tournaments for advertising purposes, the advantages of it, such as globalizing their brands and reputations, are far more beneficial. Therefore, I believe that this method of advertisement is more effective as companies would gain even more profit from global market recognition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that one of the most effective ways for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in advertising themselves is by sponsoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
club, while others disagree and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is not beneficial. Apart from discussing both sides of the argument, this essay will
also
discuss why becoming a sponsor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
especially
the popular one, is advantageous for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
allocate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their marketing budgets to sponsor well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
clubs, they would benefit from having a high reputation, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
within their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
worldwide. This method has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
,
especially
for major businesses, in promoting themselves into the international market to attract more potential customers,
as well
as to expand their business globally. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by the growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, such as Herbalife and Samsung, where their names
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
appear during the Football World Cup Championship.
Therefore
, this way is always preferred as the marketing tool for businesses.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are against this method of advertising as it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. As we may be aware, the cost of sponsoring such popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
players can be prohibitive, and
as a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with financial issues. This
is exemplified
by 50% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in London, where they have discontinued to become the sponsor of the local sports-related clubs due to its high-cost.
However
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
should not be a stopper if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
want to
be marketed
and recognized in the global market.

Overall
, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
may face by funding certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
tournaments for advertising purposes, the advantages of it, such as globalizing their brands and reputations, are far more beneficial.
Therefore
, I believe that this method of advertisement is more effective as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
would gain even more profit from global market recognition.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Which of the following qualities do you think is most important for a university student to be successful? ●Highly motivated●Hard working●IntelligentChoose one of these qualities and explain why it is important. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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