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72. If you have a chance to choose your job, would you like to choose a job withhigh salary or that can get personal satisfaction? Why? v.1

72. If you have a chance to choose your job, would you like to choose a job withhigh salary or that can get personal satisfaction? Why? v. 1
In the past 30 years, more and more people tended to buy their own car due to the great revolution in the automobile industry and as a consequence of that now the most cities in the world are suffering from the problem of traffic congestion. In my opinion, it is completely true that the traffic jam is emerging as a global problem and it is observed that developing countries are more affected than developed country's. The prime reason behind the rapid increase in car ownership is the affordable price of motor vehicles because nowadays, a middle-class family can easily afford to buy a new car. In my country, most of the bigger cities have a problem of traffic jam and as a result every day, lots of their priceless time are wasted and killed. To address this problem, many solutions can be proposed. Firstly, the government should improve the public transportation such as local buses, trains, and metro as well as try to lower the prices of tickets in order to attract people towards these modes of transportation. Secondly, the administration should spread further awareness about the air pollution caused by cars and other motor vehicles. Lastly, I think the government should impose higher taxes on cars, which make this costly and eventually people will move towards public transport. To conclude, it is undeniable that the problem of traffic jams is increasing day by day because the numbers of car ownership is increasing. But it is high time to take action in order to solve this big problem.
In the past 30 years, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tended to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
due to the great revolution in the automobile industry and as a consequence of that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the most cities in the world are suffering from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion.

In my opinion, it is completely true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam is emerging as a global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and it
is observed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
are more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed country
's. The prime reason behind the rapid increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
ownership is the affordable price of motor vehicles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays, a middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
family can
easily
afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. In my country, most of the bigger cities have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam and
as a result
every day, lots of their priceless time
are wasted
and killed.

To address this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions can
be proposed
.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the public transportation such as local buses, trains, and metro
as well
as try to lower the prices of tickets in order to attract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
towards these modes of transportation.
Secondly
, the administration should spread
further
awareness about the air pollution caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and other motor vehicles.
Lastly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose higher taxes on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this costly and
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
towards public transport.

To conclude
, it is undeniable that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams is increasing day by day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
ownership is increasing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is high time to take action in order to solve this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 72. If you have a chance to choose your job, would you like to choose a job withhigh salary or that can get personal satisfaction? Why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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