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Parents today are more involved in their children s education than parents were in the past v.1

Parents today are more involved in their children s education than parents were in the past v. 1
While some individuals say films can be seen through gadgets like mobiles and tablets, but it cannot replace the large screens. I think that both has its advantages because these small gadgets render any type of videos anytime, but cinemas offer a good zone of comfort. To start with, due to technological advancements, cinema hall has been replaced by mobiles. Firstly, we can watch movies anywhere whenever we get free time and also we can see while travelling. Secondly, mobile internet provides online movies which are feasible for viewers to watch online. For example, you tube in the online website where we can watch numerous films of various categories. Furthermore, vintage films are not displayed in cinemas, so they can be watched through gadgets like cell phones buy online surfing. On the other hand, though the smart phones play a vital role in displaying movies, it cannot replace the big screens due to various factors. To begin with, it provides good sound effects and 3 D quality pictures whereas cell phones can not provide those amazing features. We are provided with comfortable seats so that we can watch without any discomfort. Moreover, in order to have a good fun with our family, cinemas are the best place for entertainment, and also recently released films can be watched only through big screen with better quality where none of the mobiles offer such quality. To conclude, i think that although these tiny gadgets play a crucial role in delivering online movies and it suits for one' comfort, but it cannot substitute the big screens as they offer the best audio effects and wide screens with clear images.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals say films can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
like mobiles and tablets,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it cannot replace the large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that both has its advantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
render any type of videos anytime,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
offer a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
zone of comfort.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, due to technological advancements,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
hall has
been replaced
by mobiles.
Firstly
, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
anywhere whenever we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
free time and
also
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
while travelling.
Secondly
, mobile internet provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
which are feasible for viewers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
For example
,
This word is normally spelled as one.
you tube
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
website where we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
numerous films of various categories.
Furthermore
, vintage films are not displayed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
like cell phones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
surfing.

On the other hand
, though the smart phones play a vital role in displaying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
, it cannot replace the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
due to various factors. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sound effects and 3 D quality pictures whereas cell phones can not provide those amazing features. We
are provided
with comfortable seats
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
without any discomfort.
Moreover
, in order to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
fun with our family,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
are the best place for entertainment, and
also
recently released films can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
with better quality where none of the mobiles offer such quality.

To conclude
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that although these tiny
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
play a crucial role in delivering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and it suits for one' comfort,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it cannot substitute the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
as they offer the best audio effects and wide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
images.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Parents today are more involved in their children s education than parents were in the past v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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