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68. Some think the college education is very important. Others believe thatcollege education is not of vital importance in one’s life. What’s your opinionand why? v.1

68. Some think the college education is very important. Others believe thatcollege education is not of vital importance in one’s life. What’s your opinionand why? v. 1
There are many family runs their own business, obviously, several benefits of doing this. However, there remain some disagreements of this as some consider this may damage the enterprise seriously. This essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of family business. On the one hand, positives of having a family enterprise that it is easy to cover the employee shortage and this would be economical for the firm as well. Directors and managers, if they belong to a family, work hard to maximize the productivity of the institution. Any decisions take in the company definitely focus to bring some gains for the entire family members. Similarly, there is rare to see any hierarchal issues between staff since they are related each other. Moreover, they probably have great knowledge regarding tricks and tactics to play in order to enhance the products and services of the company as they grow along with the firm from their childhood. Despite, nevertheless, non-family staff may find extremely difficult to work with this situation. Especially, when it comes promotions, there is a bias to promote related workers over non related one. In addition to this, all members of a family may not have the same goal for the company and some of them do not have required talent to function within a firm, may end up in having a mediocre performance of an enterprise. This also a result of using stale and old fashioned ideas than inculcating fresh outlooks and thoughts. By the way of conclusion, even though running a business with the help of relatives have some problems, this brings more benefits than any negatives to both family as well as society in the long run.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
runs their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business,
obviously
, several benefits of doing this.
However
, there remain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagreements of this as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consider this may damage the enterprise
seriously
. This essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
business.

On the one hand, positives of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
enterprise that it is easy to cover the employee shortage and this would be economical for the firm
as well
. Directors and managers, if they belong to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to maximize the productivity of the institution. Any decisions take in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
definitely focus to bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
gains for the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
Similarly
, there is rare to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any
Possible spelling mistake found.
hierarchal
issues between staff since they
are related
each other.
Moreover
, they
probably
have great knowledge regarding tricks and tactics to play in order to enhance the products and services of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
as they grow along with the firm from their childhood.

Despite,
nevertheless
, non-family staff may find
extremely
difficult to work with this situation.
Especially
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
promotions, there is a bias to promote related workers over
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non related
one.
In addition
to this, all members of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
may not have the same goal for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them do not have required talent to function within a firm, may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in having a mediocre performance of an enterprise. This
also
a result of using stale and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
old fashioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
than inculcating fresh outlooks and thoughts.

By the way of conclusion,
even though
running a business with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of relatives have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems, this brings more benefits than any negatives to both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
society in the long run.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 68. Some think the college education is very important. Others believe thatcollege education is not of vital importance in one’s life. What’s your opinionand why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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