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Which of the following activities would you do with friends rather than alone? A. taking a walk B. watching a movie C. traveling. v.1

Which of the following activities would you do with friends rather than alone? A. taking a walk B. watching a movie C. traveling. v. 1
The approach of bringing up the children, decides their future. Nowadays, parents are very lenient towards their children and agree to all their requests. However, to make the current generation children suitable for the future, at times, elders have to be strict with them. This essay will discuss this topic in detail. Parents sometimes intermingle love with indulgence. Overindulgence will make the children too much dependent on their parents and they may lack the decision making capability. Further, the parents do all the household duties of their children. When such children grow up, they find it difficult to do their work by themselves. Hence, they do not get the courage to travel to foreign countries for business or study. Moreover, when at work, the working parents do not expect their younger ones to disturb them. To keep them busy, they buy a lot of toys, even when it is not required. Such children become greedy and they do not value their possessions. For example, one of the famous Bollywood stars, ran in to bankruptcy as he was born and brought up with silver spoon. To enable a younger one to be of good behaviour and character, parents should take appropriate actions. Firstly, whenever a child makes a mistake, the parents should make them understand the consequences of the mistake, they have made. In that way, the child will be able to comprehend the difference between good and bad. Secondly, children should be given enough responsibility at home. This will make them self-dependent and responsible citizens of the country. This principle has been followed by famous personalities. For example, Jackie Jahn donated all his property to the poor people, as he wanted his son to work hard and earn his bread and butter. To conclude, I would like to reiterate that parental indulgence should be disciplinarian in nature. Overindulgence should be avoided, as it may have a negative impact on the child's future.
The approach of bringing up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, decides their future. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
lenient towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to all their requests.
However
, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
suitable for the future, at times, elders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be strict with them. This essay will discuss this topic in detail.

Parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
intermingle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with indulgence. Overindulgence will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
too much dependent on their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
parents and
they may lack the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
capability.
Further
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do all the household duties of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. When such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow up, they find it difficult to do their work by themselves.
Hence
, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the courage to travel to foreign countries for business or study.
Moreover
, when at work, the working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
their younger ones to disturb them. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them busy, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
toys, even when it is not required. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
greedy and
they do not value their possessions.
For example
, one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Bollywood stars, ran in to bankruptcy as he
was born
and brought up with silver spoon.

To enable a younger one to be of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and character,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should take appropriate actions.
Firstly
, whenever a child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
a mistake, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them understand the consequences of the mistake, they have made. In that way, the child will be able to comprehend the difference between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
responsibility at home. This will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them self-dependent and responsible citizens of the country. This principle has
been followed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
personalities.
For example
, Jackie
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jahn
donated all his property to the poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, as he wanted his son to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and earn his bread and butter.

To conclude
, I would like to reiterate that parental indulgence should be disciplinarian in nature. Overindulgence should
be avoided
, as it may have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the child's future.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Which of the following activities would you do with friends rather than alone? A. taking a walk B. watching a movie C. traveling. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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