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TPO 44 - Question 6Using the examples of wild turkeys and beetles, explain two benefits of forest fires for animals. v.1

TPO 44 - Question 6Using the examples of wild turkeys and beetles, explain two benefits of forest fires for animals. v. 1
Companies should not persuade senior level employees to resign at the age of 55, so that the new generations can get more opportunities. In my view, I completely disagree that retirement should be enforced as these senior individuals have a good amount of experience which could help them in guiding the new generation. The high level people in the company have a huge amount of experience. The company needs to have people with such high calibre in the office so that, they can with their experience can take the company to new levels of growth. To illustrate, the CEO of a well know software company is 59 years old, but with his experience he has been increasing the turnover of the company on a year on year basis. The senior people play an important in driving and taking the company way forward. In addition, their experience can also be used to guide the new generation. For example, a child learns from his parents the most simple of things, when he is guided by them. So similarly, the new generations can learn and be guided by the seniors, as the senior possess a high level of knowledge and experience. Furthermore, the new generation is very impulsive in decision making. By the guidance of the senior they can learn about making a more thoughtful decision. To conclude, the expertise and the experience of the seniors can be used to guide the newcomer over the years, which can be very benefical for the company in the long run. Hence, the corporate should not encourage the seniors to retire before their retirement age and rather use their skill sets.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Companies
should not persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
employees to resign at the age of 55,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generations can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more opportunities. In my view, I completely disagree that retirement should
be enforced
as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
individuals have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in guiding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation.

The high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
have a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
needs to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with such high
Possible spelling mistake. 'calibre' is British English.
calibre
in the office
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, they can with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
can take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
of growth. To illustrate, the CEO of a
Did you mean "well-known"?
well know
software
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is 59 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
he has been increasing the turnover of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
basis. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in driving and taking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
way forward.

In addition
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to guide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation.
For example
, a child learns from his parents
This adjective uses the short comparatives form.
the most simple
of things, when he
is guided
by them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
similarly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generations can learn and
be guided
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
possess a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
impulsive in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
. By the guidance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
they can learn about making a more thoughtful decision.

To conclude
, the expertise and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to guide the newcomer over the years, which can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefical
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
in the long run.
Hence
, the corporate should not encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
to retire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
their retirement age and
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
sets.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay TPO 44 - Question 6Using the examples of wild turkeys and beetles, explain two benefits of forest fires for animals. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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